On the Twenty-Second Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Second Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Sometimes I think it's okay just to have a protein shake and then drink 3 vodka tonics with a splash of bitters.

Sometimes I am stupid.

I love it when I get emails from the FBI when the return email is lydiawashington3839@yahoo.cn.

The FBI is in China.

I am amazed by how much alcohol costs.

I wonder why exercise hurts more the next day?

I don't understand organized religion.

I wonder if you get how much I don't understand organized religion.

As much as everyone else loves my chocolate chip cookie pie (but only with the graham cracker crust...sorry, San Jose), my mother doesn't.

When I don't understand my mother, I call her my mother.

When I understand my mother, I call her Nana.

As of January 31st, I will work nowhere other than New York...other than for an AsSload of money.

New York will also pay me an AsSload of money.

I owe lots of friends lots of favors.

I can't wait to learn what my holiday omen is REALLY about.

Sometimes a friend's soul is an unimagined gift.

I wish the world would see that sometimes a cloud just has a shitty-AsS lining.

I like to see movies before noon...when they are cheaper.

There is nothing better than movie popcorn for breakfast.

The AARP thinks it's my time of day.

I like to buy a great book and then cancel the next day so I can read it.

If you're not going to be honest with me, then just don't talk to me.