Thursday, December 30, 2010

On the Thirty-First Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Thirty-First Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals thirty-one things she thirsts for in 2011...

1. Peace on Earth

2. Goodwill to Men.

3. Wisdom in the Senate and the House.

4. Meaningful participation in a broadway show.

5. The time and wisdom to contribute more to society.

6. Publication and production of TOMB.

7. Publication of TNBLSB.

8. With any production in any medium I'm involved, brilliant and compassionate creatives, colleagues and producers. Me included.

9. A DOG!

10. Laughter.

11. Song.

12. Fulfilling friendships.

13. A more settled home.

14. Health.

15. That stinkin' Anthropologie painted flower sweatercoat.

16. Publication of the Coffee TaBle Book.

17. Less stuff.

18. More quality time to play.

19. Truth.

20. To be Knowledgier.

21. Healthier economy.

22. Clearer relationship.

23. Clarity.

24. Patience.

25. More dedicated in my meditation practice.

26. Kindness.

27. Synchronicity.

28. Decent-looking hair.

29. Fulfilling risk.

30. A better diet.

31. Love.

Please tell me if I've missed somesing tres important.

Happy happy to you and yours.

On the Thirtieth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Thirtieth Day of Christ*&%$, TiZ reveals to you...

This is becoming ridiculously difficult.

When I say, "Tell me the truth. I want to know." I actually mean it.

A tiny part of me wants to be the Queen of Facebook.

I thought "The Social Network" had one of the most brilliant opening scenes ever.

I resent the fact that thousands of people bought tix to "Spiderman" after Stunt Spidey took a fall.

It proves my belief that people really just want to see actors die.

I think my body is stronger than it is.

I can do a cartwheel.

I can do a headstand.

I can do a backbend.

I've cartwheeled in evening gowns.

If I'm singing with a hand mic and need both hands, I jam the mic in my non-existent cleavage.

I have to spend the first month of the New Year in Cleveland...a city whose major export is crippling depression.

People think I'm jewish...with my first name. Think it through, people.

I'm hoping there are still some bleaders who don't know my real name.

I've worked diligently to keep it off the blog.

I appreciate those of you who've worked diligently to keep it off the blog.

My actions have not always been 100% legal. But mostly.

My actions HAVE been pretty moral.

My actions are rarely unkind.

My thoughts can be very unkind.

My retirement fund is sound.

My rainy day fund is lacking.

I am in awe of bright people.

People think I am fearless. I am not.

I get very impatient when people talk just for the sake of filling the void.

I like the void.

Every time I leave town for a gig, I throw out and give away more things.

I own 10 evening gowns.

The 31st Day of Christ*&^%$ will be about things I wish to be in 2011.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

On the Twenty-Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

My couch is the most comfortable couch in the world.

When I'm uber-potatoing, I don't leave it all day...or night.

I have terrible vision.

In any other time or place, I would not be a winner in survival of the fittest.

My vision is so bad I'm not a candidate for lasik surgery.

I had my tonsils out at 25.

I had hospitalization insurance which did not take care of the doctor's fee. I never got a bill.

I'm very good at taxes.

I do them myself.

I was audited once and got along famously with the auditor...who praised me for my honesty, efficiency and preparedness.

My mother wouldn't let me be a Brownie.

My mother wouldn't let me be a Girl Scout.

I wanted to be a Brownie.

I was invited to be a cox on the crew team at Yale.

I was invited to join the Yale Rugby Club.

I know some really filthy songs.

I mean REALLY filthy.

I am the proud owner of a John Valby--Doctor Dirty, Prince of Porn, Sultan of Sleaze--album.

His sister was the "Ride the Chariot" soloist at Yale before I was.

I sang "Ride the Chariot" all over Europe.

I got into Yale on the singing equivalent of a football scholarship.

Fenno Heath changed my life by inviting me to Yale.

My first purchase of the New Year will be a concertina.

I have dreams that there are rats eating placenta in m NY kitchen.

I freely and vociferously yell at tourists who are being dumb-asses.

I have an instrument called a ukelin.

My second musical purchase of the New Year will probably be a tongue drum.

I love quirky instruments.

I need an awesome job so I can purchase quirky instruments in the New Year.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

On the Twenty-Eighth Day of Christ*&^%

On the Twenty-Eighth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I even waste time in an efficient manner.

I am now the proud owner of five pairs of black boots. They are all vastly different.

I almost popped a baby.

Babies dig the sounds I make.

I leave some Christmas decorations up year round.

I think it would be fun if I could travel in my very own personal green screen.

I thank the god I don't believe in for leggings.

Two and a half weeks after they cut it, I still have funky expectoration from the haze machine.

When they invent a hazing fluid you can imbibe, then I will not complain about inhaling it.

I believe New Years should be spent doing things you hope to be doing all year long.

I have no resolve.

I spent way too much money this Christ*&^%$.

I met (and slugged) Gregory Peck.

I drank with Paul Newman.

I got Joanne Woodward to confess.

I was dismissed by Lauren Bacall.

Samuel Ramey grabbed my ass. I never wiped again.

"My Man Godfrey" cures everything.

"Born Yesterday" cures everything.

"Roman Holiday" cures everything.

"Philadelphia Story" cures everything.

John Denver songs make me wanna blow my head off.

I was an opera singer 'til I was 30.

I can sing ridiculously low.

I can sing ridiculously high.

I can sing ridiculously loud.

I am a shambhalian.

Twice in my life I've gone into mind meld. It is pure love.

Monday, December 27, 2010

On the Twenty-Seventh Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Seventh Day of Christ*&^%$, TIZ reveals to you...

I love a snow day.

I love a blizzard.

More importantly, I love thundersnow.

I didn't know there was such a phenomenon as thundersnow.

I come from people who don't believe in global all. So I call it global weirdening.

I am capable of absolute sloth.

I make the best hot chocolate ever.

I write to procrastinate.

I procrastinate writing.

I just learned that crastinate actually is a word.

I guess procrastinate means you're really REALLY for it.

I took the blizzard as an opportunity to learn another song on the ukulele...Magnetic Fields' "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing."

I just learned how to GarageBand.

I am bad at GarageBand.

If we're lucky (or un), I'll post "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing."

I am down to two astrology websites a day.

I have noticed, especially this year, that the actors are the least important or regarded portion of a production in managements' eyes. We're an afterthought.

I am not an afterthought.

I am writing a book about how to be a working actor.

It will be published this year. 20

I wrote, co-starred, edited and produced and teeny tiny film scene this year.

I am good at a sound check.

I would like to make more of a living as a reiki master. Any ideas?

Earning money a variety of ways keeps me from being bored.

My cousin thinks I have A.D.D.

I do not have A.D.D.

I am fast.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

On the Twenty-Sixth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Sixth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I'm never eating again.

I'm so scrimpy during the rest of the year, I buy myself a present when I buy one for someone else at Christ*&^%$.

I can put on 5 pounds in a day...just by thinking about food.

My sister has great taste in wine.

I love snowstorms.

I hate talking on the phone.

I love texting.

I love face to face.

I take responsibility for things I'm not at all responsible for.

I have a boot fetish.

I like long hair on men.

I cannot explain my tastes at all.

I love to read.

I have trouble reading while I am working...aka, the creative process impinges on idea why.

When I hit the wall, I hit the wall.

People don't understand that when I've hit the wall I've REALLY hit the wall.

I don't understand why people like to slap around other people when they're already down. Slap 'em while they're up, dammit.

If I don't eat gluten-free, I walk like a 90-year-old ewok.

There isn't much that a good wine can't make great for just a couple of hours.

I still have Christ&*^%$ gifts at my mom's from last year.

I love lamb.

Leg of lamb does not love me.

I now choose doctors on their level of cuteness...and an internship at a reputable institution.

I'm getting good at being disruptively humorous without offending.

I'm beginning to hate travel.

My mother gives me family heirlooms.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Friday, December 24, 2010

On the Twenty-Fourth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Fourth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I wear bangs because I have a forehead reminiscent of a shar-pei puppy.

My bangs are too long and are not doing their job.

I sleep best in a cold room, swaddled under many blankets.

My brother's wife makes the best homemade peanut butter cups EVER.

I'm packing the Nana in a wheelchair today and hitting the 60% off cashmere sale at Saks Off-Fifth.

I'm wondering whether it's wrong to use a wheelchair as a battering ram.

I was reminded of why Christmas matters a very special Christmas Pageant. I heave-cried.

Mercury retrograded hard for me a number of times today.

I can't wait 'til I'm off tour and don't have to pack four months of activity into two weeks.

I only brought home three outfits this time.

My dormant heart just may be waking up.

I had rubella.

I've never had chicken pox.

I am remarkably healthy...all thing considered.

All things considered would include my family's crap medical history and the fact I was a very sickly child.

By the end of high school I was 5' 6" and 98 pounds.

I ate two peanut butter, butter and jelly sandwiches, a bowl of ice cream and a coke for breakfast all summer so I would hit the triple digits before I hit Yale.

I won "Most Popular Nipples" at Yale.

I was an honorary member of an all-male singing group at Yale.

Those ties are some of the strangest and strongest in my life.

I guard and protect strange and strong ties passionately.

The holidays lead me to a place where I miss my loved ones who have passed.

As part of a holiday omen, I found a beautiful necklace I thought I had lost more than a year and a half ago.

I will not be revealing on Christ*&^%$ Day.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

On the Twenty-Third Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Third Day of Christ*&%^$, TiZ reveals to you...

I am a reiki master.

It's one of my favorite gifts.

My apartment has tin ceilings.

My apartment's floors slope at disparate angles.

I'm always surprised by how much I want to kill myself the day after a pilates class.

I sneeze into my elbow. It's more sanitary.

I do not believe in the use of those anti-bacterial lotions.

I would love to have an audience cheer as I enter my living room a la Christina Applegate on "Married with Children."

I bought my first article of clothing from Anthropologie.

Anthropologie is heroin.

When I was in first grade I was embarrassed by a class project and buried it in the backyard so my family wouldn't be disappointed in me.

I think all Brits are nice because they talk pretty.

Nice is not a word oft used for Brits.

Sometimes I like to use out-of-date words like oft.

I have comfort films. Today's is "Bridget Jones's Diary."

Tomorrow's will be "The Philadelphia Story."

I was recently told I have animated teeth.

I do not make New Year's resolutions.

I change clothes so much in my current job that over the Christmas holidays I have three outfits. And my shoes are all flat.

I've written a play.

I would like to have it produced.

I would like to star in it.

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