Friday, September 30, 2011

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 16


Today was a day of keeping my eyes on my own plate. No good comes from looking at other people's and realizing they're dining on chateau briand while you're chowing down on franks and beans.

And anyway, I always did like franks and beans.

Those beans are good for your heart, dontcha know.

Great News!


I may be eligible to receive a power chair or scooter at little to no cost.

From The Scooter Store.

They just let me know...via email.

HOW LUCKY AM I?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 15


So, there was another reason I took a High-atus. A reason known only to me.

And now you.

I always swore I got work from the Book of Face. Swore. And I think I initially did. I know a commercial came from it. And some auditions.

But then it stopped. It stopped when it became crowded and commonplace and copious.

So I swore to myself, "Self, you will stop with these self-involved "love me" shenanigans until you have found a really good job."

I auditioned on Day 6. Heard I booked it Day 7. Offer in on Day 9. Deal down on Day 14.

It's going to be the hardest job I've ever had. And I'm REALLY looking forward to it.

I love a good challenge.

Bring. It. On.


Monday, September 26, 2011

Is This What It's Really Like?


The New and Improved JungleBook.

Or you can send this to the disgruntled masses.

FB Hiatus Day 14


I still miss the quirky, intelligent, honest updates of the personable princess palace, even though she surreptitiously sends them to me. It's such a dirty little fix.

EdBook reminded me that I miss birthdays. I miss HAPPY HAPPIES!

I miss the poetry of JPS, King of FaceBook.

I miss beautiful photographs taken by beautiful people.

I miss the rants of many.

But it sounds like it's a jungle out there.

If you want to see something of great beauty, watch Bill Cunningham New York. It broke my heart into wee soft pieces in all the best ways.


Sunday, September 25, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 13


Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

--Winston Churchill

Saturday, September 24, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 12


Don’t try to predict me. You’ll just be wasting your time.

Carman Moore

Friday, September 23, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 11 PS


The world "authentic" kinda sucks too. 'Cause the minute you think about being authentically you, you're not being authentic. You're being what you want to believe is authentically you.

So, I'm boycotting that word and concept. But to be fair, I'm pretty sure FaceBook didn't ruin the A word. Just the G and the B ones.

FB HIatus Day 11


What's all the scuttlebutt? While watching the Grey's Anatomy season premiere (oh, don't get all judgey on me), the nightly news preview suggested everyone in the entire universe was in an uproar over the new FB changes.

Exactly how big are they, kittens?

All I knows is the Book of Face has absolutely ruined the words "grateful" and "blessed" for me. A dear friend (whose glorious status updates are a blend of whacky intelligence, creativity and painful honesty...they're magic and I miss them) brought it up...like...the minute I thought about it. (It gave me hope that perhaps I am whackily intelligent, creative and painfully honest.)

Those words (the G and the B ones) are how people get away with being all prideful and braggy on The Book while assuming a humility that's just plain unattractive and false. It's reflexive.

And I'm pretty sure I've done it.

So, I'm boycotting those words.

I'll just say thank you. That's active. Not reflexive at all.

Unless I say, "Thank me."

Hmmmmm...

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Falling in Love


is no reason to act like a douchetard.

I'm just sayin'.

High school may be a reason. But not falling in love.

FB Hiatus Day 10

From what I'm gleaning, I may have beat the FaceBook Exodus.

Come take my hand, God gave this LAN to me.
God gave this fruitful LAN to me.

One friend has started a daily offsite update. I call it EdBook.

Please feel free to join us here at TiZandAsSBooK.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 9


Bear in mind that you should conduct yourself in life as at a feast.

- Epicetus, Greek philosopher

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 8


Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Except for the monster chasing me

aaaaaaaaaaaah

(*&^%^&^()*(#@$

FYYSCFFWM
?

Andrea Bocelli* Owes Me $2.25


He does. I couldn't walk across the park last week at 1 in the afternoon because "The World's Most Beloved Tenor" was scheduled to do a concert on the Great Lawn in 7 hours.

I didn't know he was The World's Most Beloved Tenor. I thought he was, "Who needs Three Tenors when you can have one Blind One." I used to say that...'til it pissed people off.

You still with me?

I didn't know he was going to be in town until I got a text from some guy I went on 1 date with 4 months ago. He wanted to know the name of the restaurant where we had our 1 date...4 months ago.

You still with me?

But it was 1 in the afternoon, it was raining, I was late for a callback, the NYC cops didn't even know where I could cross, and I was cross.

So from under the safety of the brim of my cap and brimming hatred for all things Bocelli, I sweetly asked a rather tall couple, "Excuse me. Do you know if I can walk across at 86th Street?"

She replies in a sweet English accent, "I don't know."

He replies in the most delicious of familiar burrs. "Oh, I don't think so. There's a concert here tonight."

And...

It's Liam Neeson.

Oh, you're still with me.

Liam Neeson. The last time I saw him in the flesh I had run smack into his chest at 890 Broadway. I said, "I'm sorry," looked up, saw who it was and murmured, "No, I'm not."

Yum.

I wonder if he'll be my FaceBook friend?

No, TiZ, no. No FaceBook.

But I can still dream of him waking up, cranking up his computer and wondering, "Oh, I wonder what my dear friend TiZ is doing out and about this great Island of Manhattan? Oh, look at her. Isn't she adorable? Oh, look, she's drinking a TaB. Oh, isn't she a clever girl, but why so much self-hatred?"

But that won't happen because I'm on FaceBook Hiatus.

But until then...

Dear Mr. Neeson, I am writing this to you,
And I hope that you will read it so you'll know
My heart beats like a hammer and I stutter and I stammer
Every time I see you at the picture show (Except for SUSPECT 'cause you looked icky, and LOVE ACTUALLY cause I actually hated that movie.)
I guess I'm just another fan of yours
And I thought I'd write and tell you so-o-o-oH.

You made me love you (Made?)
I didn't wanna do it, (Well...) I didn't wanna do it. (Of course, I did. Who doesn't?)
You made me love you (Made?)
and all the while you knew it, I guess you always knew it. (Okay...probably not.)

You made me happy, sometimes you made me glad.
But there were times, dear, you made me feel so sad. (Like when you did SHINING THROUGH with Melanie Griffith as a woman of Irish, Jewish-German parentage going undercover in Nazi Germany. Really? Why?)

You made me cry for (Why?)
I didn't wanna tell you. I didn't wanna tell you.
I want a love that's true ('Cause that's what FaceBook is all about-truth.)
Yes, I do, 'deed I do
You know I do

Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie, gimmie what I cry for (Demanding, aren't I?)
You know you've got the brand of kisses
That I'd die for
You know you made me love you

(This is getting uncomfortable.)


Aw, gee, Mr. Neeson, I don't wanna bother you! Guess you got a lotta girls that tell you the same thing. And if you don't wanna read this, well, you don't have to. But I just had to tell you about the time I saw you in SCHINDLER'S LIST. That was the tenth time I ever saw you, and I knew right then you were the nicest fella in the movies! I guess it was 'cause you acted so, well so natural like - not like a real actor at all, but just like any fella you'd meet at school or at a party...or a Nazi munitions factory. Then one time I saw you in a picture with Jessica Lange, and I had to cry a little 'cause you loved her and your kilt so much and you couldn't have them - not 'till the end of the picture, anyway. And then one time I saw you in person. You were going to rehearsal at 890, and I was standing there when you got out of your cab, and you almost knocked me down! Oh - but it wasn't your fault! Naw, I was in the way. But you looked at me, and you smiled. Yeah! You smiled right at me as if you meant it, and I cried all the way home just 'cause you smiled at me for being in your way! Aw, I'll never forget it, Mr. Neeson. Honest injun. You're my favorite actor!


I don't care what happens, let the whole world stop
As far as I'm concerned, you'll always be the top
'Cause you know you made me love you


And...

scene.



*This blog post wasn't about Andrea Bocelli at all, was it? But I had to take the bus. And that cost $2.25.

Monday, September 19, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 7


This is not easy for me. Not easy for me at all. The Book of Face is where I go to disappear. The Book is my discovery zone. The Book is where I play to have my say. The Book is actually where I started to get my news.

This is not easy peasy lemon squeezy.

This is difficult difficult lemon difficult.

The Book is life.*




*Not really. I just love the "the list is life" line from ye olde Schindler's List. Know what I mean?

Sunday, September 18, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 6


I thank the cake for its chocolatey goodness by cramming it by the fistful into my gaping pie hole.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 5


Discussed ideas, not people.


Soul Streaking


A friend I've known since he was a wee slip of a thing (well, I know TiZ and AsS is a name-free zone, but let's just call him Mike Errico for short) is having some pretty exquisite successes. All more than well-deserved...he is the prophet angel of the indie pop scene after all. Before I left on my Book of Face sabbatical I had posted and "shared" a bit about him. I was a special guest performer his first evening of residency at the Living Room...an unexpected vocal treat for the likes of moi. He had more evenings of residency, more special guests, always trading up...I posted those. His album went through the roof on iTunes...I posted that.

I don't know if I posted about him being featured on the Naked Soul Series at the Rubin Museum of Art...it had been in the air for a while and I just may not have "shared." It's an all acoustic music series and the only other person I'd ever had the pleasure to hear soul strip was another fav, Jonatha Brooke. (I don't know her personally so I'm not feeling so bad about the reveal of that name. My blog, my rules.)

But when Mike and his lovely wife both post a link to a cartoon on page 20 of The New Yorker about the gig and his special guest, Jonatha Brooke, I smacked "share" faster than a sexaholic smacks my ass.

The New Yorker.

Today, I head over to The New Yorker website (just because I'm not on the Book of Face doesn't mean I'm still not taking up residency on the Net of Inter), look at the cartoon, hit [control] F and search for Errico. Up comes the cartoon again. Up comes the gig--GREAT. Up comes...

The fact that he and two other friends had "shared" another article on The Book. I look closer...

The fact that two other friends and I had "shared" this article.

That another friend...

And another friend...

Up comes my breakfast.

Not really.

But you see where I'm going. I can't quite escape The Book. It's a tad insidious. You don't even have to be on it to be on it.

That being said, let's spin it happy. Get on it...buy a ticket to Mike's concert. Rumor has it if you order before the 21st, you get a free cd...you get to take Mike home.

And we all get to see one another in the flesh.

Naked Soul and all.

Streaking.




Friday, September 16, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 4


I see beautiful people everywhere. Day 3 too.

Thank you.

Clarification


Yesterday was a good day. Yesterday was a great day. It was not an easy FB day, however, because I KNOW someone tagged a photo of me. I KNOW who it is and it's always deliciously random and skewed yet perfect and ugly...

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!

It could be about TaB.

And someone else has mentioned me in some kind of post. She's a student and we have a similar name and a similar outlook on life...

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT SAYS!

It could be about TaB.

But I know it's not showing up on my wall because I fixed that before I left. Locked the door. Triple locked it. But there always is the doggy door...

I really don't want to return to find random shit strewn all about the place...Farmville, bedazzled crap, Jimmy Hoffa, puppies...

Please tell me I locked the door.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 3


Not easy not easy not easy

Blerg.

This Morning of Miss


This morning I miss being on FaceBook. I'm bound to miss ANYTHING I set my mind NOT to do.

Ain't human nature fun? Or at least Tizzy nature?

I miss seeing shining faces. I miss seeing what you're doing. I miss birthdays. I miss quotes. I miss being in the know.

There are specificities of the specific sort I miss which I'm bound to get to later.

However, I know

when I'm ON the Book of Face I'm not kissing your face. I'm not tripping the line fantastic with you. I'm not holding your cake as you blow out your candles. I'm not hearing your voice murmur or scream a quote or joke of the day.

And sometimes a girl can know too much.

This is gonna be a good day.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

FaceBook Fascination



I am fascinated to see who transcends FaceBook in the Land of TiZ. I mean, it's a two-way street, the center line is not clearly defined, the road markings are strange...but there are some fellow travelers I just can't do without...and hopefully vicey versa.

Until either of us feel the need, I'm so hoping you're* tripping the line fantastic.

*I initially typed "your." Hello, Monster.

FB Hiatus Day 2

Have lost 4 pounds. Can return to much beloved skirt of the past.

T&A- Hello, much beloved skirt.

MBS- Oh, look at you. Now I won't have to deal with your ample bum ripping through my seams like Hannibal through the Alps.

T&A- You're welcome. (Muttered) No need to be rude.*




*Unless there is a monster chasing you.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

FB Hiatus Day 1


Things that happened today because I wasn't on the Book of Face...

Well, first of all, I wasn't on the Book of Face.

I ate without looking at my computer.

I drank TaB without looking at my computer.

Because I wasn't looking at my computer, I drank something other than TaB...it was healthy.

I spoke with people in person.

I spoke with people in person ON THE PHONE.

I REALLY worked on a script.

I took a nap.

And...

a monster chased me.

aaaaaaaaaaaah

(*&^%^&^()*(#@$

FYYSCFFWM
?


T plus 2 hours and 14 minutes

There is quite obviously...

a monster chasing me

aaaaaaaaaaaah

(*&^%^&^()*(#@$

FYYSCFFWM
?

T plus 1 minute

I feel good.

Monday, September 12, 2011

T minus 1

Fixing to get ready to go: Two posts regarding my departure. A culling of numbers. Individual messages to a couple of people who for a number of reasons warrant them. Despite the reasoning being different, the letters are pretty darn similar. Despite the democratic approach...

10 home runs.
2 balls
1 ball thrown directly at my head. Luckily I wear a helmet. But ow.

Now, despite the fact I am skipping FaceTown for a while, it doesn't mean I won't be writing about it. This is a huge experiment for me. And from what I'm gleaning, it's gonna be hard. It may drive me back into therapy after a decade. Is my therapist still alive?

I have my Hurricane FaceBook Go Bag packed and at the door.

And plenty of TaB.

Who knows what waits beyond the walls of...oh shit...it's a monster...he's chasing me...aaaaaaaaaaaah

(*&^%^&^()*(#@$

FYYSCFFWM
?

T minus last week plus one day and 1 minute

Accept friend request and realize need Facebook hiatus.

T minus last week plus one day

Receive a friend request from Joe Kennedy's 1929 shoeshine boy.

T minus last week

Run into an old friend whom I haven't seen for a variety of reasons that are none of your business. The comments regarding FaceBook and my activities thereon dismaze* me.



*Dismaze- (verb) to disturb and amaze in equalling proportions.

T minus ?

Contemplate taking a Book of Face hiatus.

T minus late summer

Spend too much time noodling around on FaceBook, mostly because I'm out of town, but continuing when I return.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Kayak Yaketty Yak


El Guapo and I embarqued on The Annual Hammonasset Kayak Extravaganza today.

It was splendid.

El Guapo was ceremoniously dumped from his kayak.

EG "Goddammit."

T&A "Hey, whatcha doin' in there?"

I grabbed his paddle. He righted his kayak. He float downstream beside it for 15 yards. For the next 15, he piggybacked my kayak as I paddled him safely to shore.*

He dumped the water, climbed back in, had a smoke and paddled along.

And we larfed.

The Best Annual Hammonasset Kayak Extravaganza EVER!


Just in case you think I'm a heartless fuck - I know the date. I don't wish to be near media. I know what this means to me. I don't need the media to give me visual reminders or tell me how I should feel about it. Plus, if there are commercials involved and someone is making money, fuck you.



*Always wear your life jacket. Thank you.

opposition

Without opposition there is no growth. It is hard to argue with that logic. A state in which we are free from problems or constraints is not happiness. Happiness is transcending all opposition and obstacles and continuing to grow.

Daisaku Ikeda, Buddhist Scholar (Thank you, ND)

Thursday, September 8, 2011

What I Wish For You

I wish you had been in Central Park with me at 7:30 this evening.

You didn't even have to be with me. Just there. On the north side of the Great Lawn looking south.

One of those exquisite, gasping reminders of why I've lived in New York for 25 years...

Gawdy, joyous skyscrapers doing what they do best--scraping the sky.
Low lying clouds with sunset illumination in co-dependent palates.
Hullabaloo* lights dancing in those co-dependent clouds.

Heaven in the park.

Wish you'd been there.


*They are, in fact, called ballyhoo. But hullabaloo is better, n'est pas?

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