Saturday, February 18, 2012


Apologies come in many forms but silence is not one of them.

--Christianne Tisdale

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Monday, February 13, 2012

Happy St. Rusty's Day

Mohamed Adel

Valentine’s Day = no celebration for me.

That’s when all the loonies come out to play. And St. Valentine was beaten to death and then beheaded. What’s to celebrate?

Plus, I’m 48, I’m single, unemployed and I don’t have a dog.* Pretty much rock bottom.

My rock bottom is comparatively pretty shiny. I live in the best city in the world. I have a rent-stabilized apartment, a membership to New York Sports Club (where I can watch 80s pop video) and I’m not going to go hungry any time soon. But once I realized I was deep in the dirt, I decided to slow on down and pick away at the nuggets for a while,

Read more at Elephant Journal

Sunday, February 12, 2012

More Lessons Learned

Do take dog to the vet when he itches.

Dogs are far more pleasant when they're far less itchy.

Sometimes underdogs can be the best behaved at the vet.

Do not pet dog while you're canoodling just to get said dog to shut up.

Do not allow dog to create a den for himself on your couch.

Do keep an eagle eye on dog when walking on your street if your street has a middle school where children just drop pretzels all over the sidewalk. A developing nation could be fed from the refuse on my block.

Do brush dog with hair every day.

Do keep dog on the skinny side.

Do keep some fiber in both your and dog's diet.

Do your best to never ever ever witness anal expression. Dog's that is...

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Lessons Learned

Do NOT try and put Baxter's Sherlock Holmes coat on when we're both half asleep.

Do NOT accidentally brush his butt where the scab is healing.

Do NOT buy a carrier bag that he can't burrow into like a dog cave.

Do NOT deal with the scab healing on his face IN HIS DOG CAVE.

Do NOT believe your apartment is clean. Baxter, at least, is a walking lint brush.

Do NOT play with Baxter within ten minutes of leaving the apartment. Baxter will cry his little heart out and upset Billy the Dog two floors down.

DO let him meet men on his own time.

DO keep his harness on him when a man first walks in the apartment so you can walk him easily into another room.

If you DO work a matt slowly with your fingers, you can get it out.

DO say good boy more than ever possibly imagined.

Dogs are kind people magnets. At least on my block

Bill Berloni is right about everything all the time.

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