Wednesday, December 29, 2010

On the Twenty-Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

My couch is the most comfortable couch in the world.

When I'm uber-potatoing, I don't leave it all day...or night.

I have terrible vision.

In any other time or place, I would not be a winner in survival of the fittest.

My vision is so bad I'm not a candidate for lasik surgery.

I had my tonsils out at 25.

I had hospitalization insurance which did not take care of the doctor's fee. I never got a bill.

I'm very good at taxes.

I do them myself.

I was audited once and got along famously with the auditor...who praised me for my honesty, efficiency and preparedness.

My mother wouldn't let me be a Brownie.

My mother wouldn't let me be a Girl Scout.

I wanted to be a Brownie.

I was invited to be a cox on the crew team at Yale.

I was invited to join the Yale Rugby Club.

I know some really filthy songs.

I mean REALLY filthy.

I am the proud owner of a John Valby--Doctor Dirty, Prince of Porn, Sultan of Sleaze--album.

His sister was the "Ride the Chariot" soloist at Yale before I was.

I sang "Ride the Chariot" all over Europe.

I got into Yale on the singing equivalent of a football scholarship.

Fenno Heath changed my life by inviting me to Yale.

My first purchase of the New Year will be a concertina.

I have dreams that there are rats eating placenta in m NY kitchen.

I freely and vociferously yell at tourists who are being dumb-asses.

I have an instrument called a ukelin.

My second musical purchase of the New Year will probably be a tongue drum.

I love quirky instruments.

I need an awesome job so I can purchase quirky instruments in the New Year.

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