BC4

One more visit...where Baxter tried to take a bullet for me...the bullet being a strange woman who entered the room as Baxter sat in my lap. Little did I know she was completely new to Baxter until he started barking his fool head off. Lesson learned. Baxter meets NO ONE while sitting in my lap. We had to leave the room. They were surprised when I brought him back saying, "Okay, let's see if you can tolerate the nice lady now." He did. He sniffed her and looked at me like, "Okay...done. Can we move on? "

He got a new toy, a cashmere sweater that smelled embarrassingly like me and an hour and three quarters of play time. (These were not rewards. These were pre. His reward for behaving well was lots of "good boys.")

Yesterday his bed, collar and assloads of dog food were purchased. Today even more things come up off the floor and I decide whether he'll be eating and drinking out of my stuff or gets his own Baxter bowls. I'll try and sleep with his bed tonight so it gets some eau de Tizzy.

I'm also trying to get one extra visit in today but The Humane Society is overloaded. It is fantastic that they are so revered and trusted, yet it's heartbreaking that more and more animals are being given up or abandoned.

And I'm realizing this is not a well-written blog post. It's more a blah post. But my show is closing today, I gave myself food poisoning the other day, I have shin splints and there's oodles to do.

So...blah.

BD-2. So excited I could piddle.

CT

has to write this like a FB status update because first person singular and owning it would be too much to bear.

You know the world has become quite intimate when one of CT's local homeless people is tucked away in his blanket in the subway station, wishes her goodnight like a sleepy child and she looks him in the eye and responds, "Good night, sweetheart."

Everyone was someone's sweetheart in some way, shape or form at some time.

A good thing to remember.

And CT remembers a dear old beau who yelled at the guy pissing on their steps, and then took him in, let him shower and washed his clothes.

Everyone deserves clean clothes.

And sometimes this is all too much to bear. And CT has shin splints. Which is nothing compared to sleeping in a blanket in the subway station.

BC3

I obviously can't do math, because yesterday was BD-6.

BD-5 is where I learn not to throw crap on the floor. Honestly, I live my life throwing everything on the floor. It runs the gamut from dirty underwear to mail to purses to change to curling irons.

Baxter is beautifully trained (despite the poor pee aim) and respectful, but...you know...

A dog's a dog.

And I've waited sooooooooo long for one, I'm cleaning as if my mother-in-law were coming for a visit.

If I had a mother-in-law.

And had to wear the cone of shame.

The Baxter Chronicles 2

Adoption forges ahead. We went for a walk yesterday. He tolerated the harness (something he'd earlier refused), and a jaunty little sports jacket (never did I think I'd be dressing a dog). Not a sign of lack of socialization. Doggy kisses. As always, sat in my lap, but this time facing me instead of the back-turned "I love her but I'm facing out so I can get the fuck out" version. Friendly with everyone. His pee aim is a little off but I guess mine would be too if I had my nuts removed.

If I had nuts.

And had to wear the cone of shame.

BD-7.

The Baxter Chronicles 1

Oh yeah…I’m trying to adopt Baxter from the Humane Society. We met before he was even in the system.

Due date = January 31.

He is delicious…

And initially believed quite perfect by all who met him.

And then he had a bad day. Not with me. Someone else. We've only had one bad moment. For which we both apologized profusely. As with any friendship, issues must be addressed immediately. And Bill the Behaviorist helped me learn how best to expedite that…in both species.

We’re having our third real visit tomorrow. He’s been neutered, shaved (bye bye matts), and had his nails clipped. We’re gonna see if we can get through a day without having to apologize.

Woof us luck.

"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."

--Martin Luther King, Jr.

On the Oops Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Oops Day of Christ*&^*%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I did two repeats, so...

Two more things you may not know about me...

I was proudly published twice this year.

I have only purchased 6 pieces of furniture my entire life. One of them was used. The rest are gifts, hand-me-downs or dumpster delights.

New Year's 3

I see you.

GO!

New Year's Day

You are loving.

You love.

And

You are loved.

Ready, set...GO!

The New Year's Day Poem

Choose Life over the other stuff. Get out of your head. Live. Dress up. Eat. Touch people. Help out. Give up. Love people. Give your best away. There's more. What's the problem? Relax. You're going to die. Throw a party. Eat off my plate. Sing to me. Meet me in the bedroom. Get a massage. Give one. Let your amazement out into the room. Pry open the box you hide your joy in. Be

a

poem.

-John Patrick Shanley

On the Thirty-First Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Thirty-First Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Thirty-one things she would dig in a deep way for 2012...*

Peace on earth.

Goodwill to all sentient beings.

Going on for the quinfucta.

A healthier economy for all.

A re-elected Obama.

A little cupcake of a cottage upstate.

A good solid apology.

Ease.

Grace.

A good, solid, considered apology.

To publish more.

To gain even more of you appreciative bleaders.**

To finally finish and perform TOMB.

More volunteerism.

Looooooooooooooooooooooooove.

More recording. I love recording.

Health...physical, emotional and spiritual.

More yoga.

Getting back to my seat and meditating.

Fabulous attendance at the St. Jimmy.

More honesty. 2011 was a great start.

More clarity. 2011 was a great start.

For dreams to come true for those who desire them wholeheartedly.

To handle the estate with little complication and great joy.

Laughter.

Singing my tits off.

Less spam.

More reiki.

Take a pottery class.

Teach more voice.

Create things of great beauty and substance.

*I looked back through the years. A LOT of these have come true. Really.

**And I DO appreciate you. You can't imagine how much...

On the Thirtieth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Thirtieth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Thirty lessons learned (or-relearned) this year...

To stop caring what others think of me.

You only get one set of parents. If you love them, show it.

People who are willing to send cards to an old lady they may never've met are good people to have around.

If I do my job with creativity and specificity, I don't have to ask for permission.

Truth is subjective.

No matter how much I want people to see my truth, sometimes they just can't....and vicey versey.

There is such a thing as too much TaB.

Grief drinking helps for a while if you don't have a drinking problem.

If I have to say "sorry" to the point I resent it, it may be a lost cause.

Secrets kept for many years may be best kept 'til death.

If you don't thank me for a professional favor, I'll resent it and not grant one again.

Always thank people.

Asking for help is a good thing...not a weakness.

My past doesn't define me.

Compromise is not the "c" word.

It is really important to give back.

Gifts can come from the least likely places. I must keep my eyes and heart open.

Most everyone deserves a second chance...unless you're Charles Manson.

The most delicious things can manifest from accidents.

People always tell me exactly who they are and their relationship with me will not be the exception to any rule.

It's delicious to find a friendship with an ex.

If I play too hard for too long I will catch a cold.

I like money.

I have held myself back for others' sakes.

Spending too much time in the comfort zone makes a person uncomfortable.

People are way nice to you when they think you're successful.

It's never too late to learn.

Don't downtalk myself.

What I previously thought was impossible is quite possible.

On the Twenty-Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-Nine game changers of the year...

My mom died.

I sang at her funeral. (Okay...technically it was a memorial mass because her body wasn't there.)

I was put into a show I'd never seen or heard with five hours of rehearsal.

I stood up for myself with management.

I recorded with Alan Menken.

I took a seminar on producing.

A well-known producer said I could trail her.

I did a full-blown reading of my own play.

I received a grant to continue working on my own play.

I duetted with a long-admired and long-loved friend.

I broke up with a perfectly lovely man because he lacked curiosity and a passion for living.

I got permission from my dear superintendent to buy a DOG!

I said goodbye to a beloved friend.

I did more charitable work than ever before.

I took a FaceBook hiatus.

99% of the time I asked for help I got it.

My apartment was renovated.

I bought another air-conditioner.

I threw/gave away about 1/3 of my belongings.

I worked and played with idols of mine.

People were kind beyond measure.

I bid adieu to a bit of my ego.

I was highly valued as an artist and my brain wasn't taken as a hindrance.

I had access to a bathtub everywhere I lived.

I overworked myself 'til I passed out.

I commuted and slept in an ICU barcalounger.

I attended the Headless Horseman Haunted Halloween Hayride.

I held someone in his 19th-20th hour of life.

I'm in a Broadway show that I love.

On the Twenty-Eighth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Eighth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

28 more things about NanaPop.

I think they were happier as grandparents.

When my nephew was born, they became one entity, "NanaPop," to us all.

They were adamant about stories being told properly and would correct each other in public.

It could get bloody.

They did not go to sleep without discussing bad feelings.

My father used a flashlight to dress early in the morning so he wouldn't awaken my mother.

He liked to get up at 5 am.

She did not.

He fancied himself a plumber. He was not.

He wore a pair of shoes for thirty years. Just got them re-soled. They were exquisite.

He is the Patron Saint of foot care...his were always baby soft.

My mother's feet looked like they had gone through a blender...try though she did.

Nana got her hair done every two weeks for most of her life.

My father used olive oil as a conditioner.

I can count on my fingers the number of nights they slept apart (other than hospital stays) during their 55 years of marriage.

Most of their married life was spent in a full-size bed. I thought it was HUUUUUUUUUGE.

My father knew where the second Pentagon was.

My mother knew where everything else was.

My father saved every piece of paper.

My mother saved everything else.

My father was IN the first computer (like a huge warehouse). He later marveled that it all fit into an iPod.

My mother was a computer.

My mother had GLORIOUS skin.

My father, who was prejudiced about people who had skin problems, later developed a condition.

They both looked much younger than they were.

They both had open heart surgery.

They both lost both their parents by the time they were 45.

They both loved us all wicked hard.

On the Twenty-Seventh Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Seventh Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-seven things you might not know about the Poppy...

He was born in Brooklyn.

He helped shovel coal as a kid for a job before school. Fell asleep in someone's coal bin.

He got left behind in Kindergarten.

His Dad died when he was 16. He hated the wake so much (methinks it was in his house with the body there) that neither he nor the Nana had wakes.

He grew up two doors away from the Nana.

He served on Saipan during WWII.

He was a Sergeant in the Army Air Corp...a mechanic.

He was part of the clean-up crew for Suicide Hill.

He got his college degree through the GI Bill. Slept two hours at a time in order to get everything done.

The day after his and Nana's first date there was a huge snowstorm. I have that pic of the two of them.

Until he died he could still remember songs taught to him in music appreciation class when he was little.

He was heartbreakingly compassionate.

When he was angry he spoke very very softly. Soooooooo scary.

He was an animal whisperer. I once witnessed a chipmunk eat from his hand.

He was an electrical engineer...sales.

When we'd come into the city, he'd point out Lincoln and Rockefeller Centers and say, "Mine." I thought we owned them. Nope. He had bid and won the contracts for the HVAC.

He was an autodidactic efficiency expert.

Catholic.

Loved his mother deeply despite the fact she was remarkably unloveable.

A truly "off " sense of humor.

Danced to the beat of a drummer no one ever heard before...kind of glorious to watch.

Once called my stage manager at Beauty and the Beast to ask if I could play Belle in L.A. for my adopted grandparents' 70-something anniversary. (I was mortified.)

Had a beyoooootiful singing voice.

He was great at investing. Really great. A marvelous method he imparted to me.

Adopted more than one of my girlfriends.

He could talk to most anyone about most anything.

On the Twenty-Sixth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Sixth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-six things about the Nana...

She was born in Nanticoke, Pennsylvania but moved to Sheepshead Bay when she was 5.

Her parents were 16 and 19 when she was born.

She graduated high school at 16.

She got a perfect score on her Regents.

She attended Hunter until she was old enough to attend nursing school.

The ships carrying sailors coming home from war passed by her hospital. She could hear them as they saw first saw the Statue of Liberty and cheered. She cried every time.

She was very popular and had lots of boyfriends.

She was a much sought after dance partner.

She had five kids.

She really only expected four.

Her longest labor was four hours.

Her shortest labor was two.

When I came around, they decided to induce me because they were pretty sure she was just gonna drop me on the sidewalk.

She had no recollection of the time of my birth. All she could say was, "Dinnertime-ish. I felt terrible because we took the doctor away from a dinner party."

Before I was born she would pound at least 20 cups of coffee a day.

When I knew her it was tea and gum.

She was quite stylish.

She was very opinionated and had little filter on what she felt about you and what came out of her mouth.

Best sitting still hand-holder ever.

She could hold a grudge like no one I knew.

She had an underground sense of humor.

She could stomp you into oblivion on a game of Trivial Pursuit.

Her nickname was minutae mind.

I only remember her crying once when I was a child. That was when her brother died when she was 49...and she felt like an orphan.

She was the only person who recognized exactly how hard I work and have always worked.

On the Twenty-Fifth Day of Christ*&^%$

My
Expression
Runs
Round
You,

Clawing
Happily,
Running
Inward,
Shouting
Tiz
My
Ass,
Sunshine.

How
Are
Pen
Pals,
Year-end?

Now
Enter
World.

Your
Everything
Aims
Rightly.

On the Twenty-Fourth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Fourth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

The more I write I'm a mess, the messier I become.

I so appreciate the people who can deal with the mess but not feed it.

My job is saving my life.

I have a softball and a softball glove, but no one to have a throw with.

I LOVE a good throw.

I'm not good enough to be on the Broadway softball league.

I am terrible at bat.

If I can, I open the window, go gas out it, then close the window.

There's nothing better than hugging while sitting in a lap.

I don't understand people who get what they want but then complain about the person who made it happen. Is it empowering?

i don't know why golf exists.

I can't imagine watching it live or on tv.

Try though I might, I read too many horoscopes.

I think Jesus must have been a very nice man.

I'm so tired recently I fall asleep while sitting up.

This is one of my fav stage management teams ever. And that's saying a lot.

I think yams are super delicious.

I wish for us all that we find our way more graciously and with greater ease.

At 12, I hit my back while doing back dives off the side of the pool.

I couldn't feel my legs for 5 minutes

My back still seizes up.

I was mugged immediately following my parents' 50th wedding anniversary brunch.

I didn't tell them until they could see me in the flesh.

My head is a shape-shifter too.

On the Twenty-Third Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Third Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

In any economy I am offended by people who don't do their jobs well.

In this particular economy, I find it an almost mortal sin.

I'm beginning to like Christmas.

I haven't turned off the lights on my Christmas tree since I set it up.

I am personally insuring the energy crisis.

Although I unplug and turn off most everything else when not in use.

I'm watching someone else's karma in action and I find very little more painful than that.

I have my front of house display photos from BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.

I dig the Buddha.

I learned recently there are different ways of stealing...none of them resonate well with me.

I did not share my Christmas pears with ANYONE.

I am ridiculously broken at the moment. But I have to believe it's letting the light shine through a little more clearly.

I have a corner of my apartment that houses things that belonged to people I love who have passed.

The cookie jar from my childhood home will be joining soon.

My Christmas tree lives next to my Buddha statue.

My Buddha statue is absolutely gorgeous.

It was seen by a friend in a storefront in Northport. I entered and the shop owner looked at me and said, "You've come for the Buddha."

Holy water from Lourdes as well as crystals and a beautifully vibratory rock from like the River Jordan live nearby.

My kitchen showcases a Bob's Big Boy Bobblehead.

Pope Soap on a Rope too.

There's a Jellystone Park plate as well.

Nothing makes me happier than sitting in the pit with the band.

I recently wore my winter bedtime panties during the day. Naughty or nice?

On the Twenty-Second Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Twenty-Second Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Given the opportunity I would dance every night.

I love social dancing but don't much care for dancing onstage.

My mother always begged me not to dance in public.

Lord help you (and me) if there is a pole around and/or stairs with a bannister.

I receive a yearly Holiday Omen.

This year mine was given away...which means, I guess, that my Omen is to let go.

A friend abandoned his Omen. I rescued it...which means, I guess, that my Omen will be rescue.

The Omen was broken black magic...which means, I guess, my run of bad luck will be over.

I hang out with a group of guys from College.

They make me feel quite special and appreciated...and a little bit lady-like...no matter how inappropriately I behave.

We chose one another.

I am the proud owner of a vintage TaB bottle.

I am the proud owner of a vintage TaB glass.

I cherish them both.

I spent my early thirties playing fairy tale princesses.

I am the least likely candidate to portray a fairy tale princess.

I have inappropriate pix of me as every fairy tale princess I've played.

I keep typo-ing farty tale princess.

I love fantastic and appropriate typos.

Sometimes I sport the last hair clip my mother wore when she was hospitalized.

I am flexible...physically, emotionally, spiritually and cognitively.

I am pretty capable of seeing things your way.