Wednesday, December 16, 2009

On the Sixteenth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Sixteenth Day of Christ&^%$, Tiz reveals to you...

When I was five I learned that unbaptized babies went to limbo. Since in my little mind, of course, babies in Africa weren’t baptized, my vision of limbo was little black babies with bones through their noses, in the clouds, forever doing backbends under ever-lowering sticks. Not good.

I’ve dined in the West Wing of the White House.

I used to be a massive sugar junky. While in Beauty and the Beast I would eat a candy bar per show.

I only eat sugar one day a week. Except for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I once cured strep with a chocolate cake diet.

I don’t understand how the USPS could be so…so…

I was only supposed to be in this apartment for a year. Ten years later…the velvet chains of rent-stabilization.

I’m okay with wearing fur if the animal died before I was born. Ah, sweet rationalization.

The clay pipes they hand out at Yale graduation are not used for tobacco.

I used to trim my toe-nails by biting them.

I had four rather important audition yesterday. I am freaking out in retrospect.

I supposedly saw someone jump in front of the A train. I have no recollection but have little baby panic attacks when I’m at the Port Authority subway stop.

Growing up my favorite carol was…um…”Mark the hairlipped angel sings, jhklak dfkjgh ghfdjk hhjd sdkj ghfdjk uoyui.”

I think Jesus must have been a very nice man.

I believe in reason and truth…and magic and lollipops.

I wasn’t potty-trained until I was about…wait for it…four.

1 comment:

  1. One candy bar per show does not mean a massive sugar habit. Trust me on that one. But the toenail thing......hmmmmmmmm xx


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