Saturday, December 19, 2009

On the 19th Day of Christ*&^%$

On the 19th Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Children, as a rule, are very protective of me. It’s amazing.

75% of the time I talk “dog” really well. Dogs appreciate it.

I had an asthma attack so bad that when I tried to register in the emergency room they threw the oxygen finger cuff on me, yelled “triage” and whisked me away.

I had…um…a REALLY GREAT TIME (hint hint wink wink) in my dressing room at the Palace…once.

I have a voodoo Mickey Mouse that my friend Suz made for me. It is brilliant and a prize possession.

I have been known to use NYC medallion drivers as therapists. Once practiced a break-up with one. He did better than the actual boyfriend.

Nothing feels better than a q-tip in the ear. Aural sex.

Sending my book off to two agents makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

If I awaken before the sun, I throw up and cry.

I have a first edition, autographed copy of
La Boheme.

I did not have apartment insurance for twenty years.

When I moved to New York I was so poor I was relieved when work on the roof of my building leaked through into my closet ruining many clothes. I got a small settlement and all of a sudden I could pay for Christmas. It did leave me with a limited wardrobe for a while.

I dated a guy who picked me up at the airport wearing a paisley shirt, a checked sweater and a Madras jacket. I could have wept for the beauty of it all.

I was so disappointed when said boyfriend started to dress like a grown-up. Why, God, why?

I wear the black velvet, red satin lined skating skirt Nana made for my sister when she was 12. It’s festive.

When I fuck up an audition, I REALLY fuck it up…like people will never see me again fuck it up.

I yell back.

I once blacked out at an audition.

My blood pressure has been 90/60 since I can remember. It drops lower when I am under stress. I am the walking dead.

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