Saturday, December 17, 2016

On the Seventeenth DaY of TiZmas

On the Seventeenth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

17 things I learned as a 17 year old...

Boys dug girls who put out 

I wasn't particularly "dug"

Be true to yourself

If you get stressed and throw up for two weeks straight you will drop below 100 pounds

High notes first thing in the morning will get you the gig

Red overalls are attention-grabbers

Don't sell yourself short

Believe in the unbelievable

Never ask your AP History teacher for a college recommendation to Yale if he doesn't think you belong at Yale

If you curse enough you will get thrown out of the soccer game and your team won't have a keeper

Drinking a bottle of Andre's Cold Duck in 5 minutes will make you spew chunks and then fall asleep in the bathtub where your mother kindly covers you with some towels

You are not above exploding a bottle of Andre's Cold Duck in a douchebag's mom's Cadillac when said douchebag has douched your best friend

If you wish someone dead they just might do that (noo..this is not the above-mentioned person)

Pay attention to choral cut offs or you will be publicly shamed...and people you don't know at the time will remember it decades later)

Don't listen when people say "no"

Do not physically act out your dreams as you dream them..ACCIDENTAL HOUSE AWAKENING BLOODY, BRUISED MESS TO COME

If you don't show up to an awards ceremony, you WILL win..A LOT

If you surreptitiously flip the bird in 90% of your senior photos, they will ALL make the yearbook.

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