Sunday, December 18, 2011

On the Eighteenth Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Eighteenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I never sleep through alarms.

Today I slept through an alarm.

I'm decent at performing minor surgery on myself.

I think breakfast for dinner and vice versa is a perfectly plausible way to go through life.

I'm so tired I didn't realize I forgot to go to a party until I was in bed already.

Was there a productive era? 'Cause I think I was born in it.

I like it when people write in. Rick is very good at it this season.

I spend as much time as possible outside. Even when it's bitter cold.

I haven't had enough time to unpack my winter duds. I'm currently sporting the layered look.

It's amazing how people fill in when they see an opening.

I appreciate the friends who stepped up when my Mom died.

I appreciate the strangers who stepped up when my Mom died.

I appreciate the estrangers who stepped up when my Mom died.

I appreciate my employers who stepped up when my Mom died.

I was recently bought off with a gorgeous bouquet of roses.

I LOVE roses.

I LOVE orchids too.

I dare someone to buy me off with orchids.


Saturday, December 17, 2011

On the Seventeenth Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Seventeenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I fear these have grown boring and commonplace.

I look back at the reveals of the first year and am jealous of my own ballsiness.

I am not keen on verbal abbreviations of words. No "totes," "opes," or "avail" leave my lips.

I feel no need to be perceived as cool.

I rarely feel the need to prove how smart I am. Or not. That's my business.

I do believe there are stupid questions. Okay...maybe not stupid. Thoughtless?

Selfish questions make me want to jam chopsticks in my ears.

My stomach never makes it through the holiday season unscathed.

I wish someone would get me a Christmas tree and decorate it with my ornaments while I'm at work.

I spent more money on beautification this past opening week than I have in...well...two whole years.

I don't understand why some people send me Facebook invites to events out of town. Do you think I care? Really? Do you need my attention? Really? If I haven't seen you in 25 years...

I am absolutely sick that I am missing the Mike Errico Annual Holiday Show this Wednesday the 21st at Rockwood Hall at 7:30. You go!

I freaking love making this much money.

Historically, every five years I make windfall paychecks that carry me through...

This was the sixth year. My belt was tight...

I believe any review that mentions Kristin Chenoweth when she is not actually in the show is a lazy review.

I despise lazy.



Friday, December 16, 2011

On the Sixteenth Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Sixteenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I'm a two drink and a hangover kinda gal.

To try and sidestep a hangover I toddle up Fifth Avenue until I'm more sober.

When I throw away a picture I feel like I'm killing the person.

I have always and will always fit better into costumes built for other people than those built for my own body.

I have so many moles on my back it looks like the solar system. (Gee, look. O'Ryan's belt.)

I worked for the Skin Cancer Foundation when I moved to NY.

I no longer tan.

I have very few wrinkles.

Yet that is not a scar on my nose. That is a worry line.

I have had a worry line across the top of my nose since I was 5.

I worried a lot as a kid.

I got picked up by heavy winds during a rainstorm as a kid and blown into some bushes.

I don't like the rain.

I think people who walk around NY with golf umbrellas should be spanked.

I think if you are so big that you need a golf umbrella to stay dry, perhaps you should rethink your eating and exercise habits.

My doctors have forbidden me from gaining weight.




Thursday, December 15, 2011

On the Fifteenth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Fifteenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I didn't say the C word for 42 years. Couldn't bear to hear it. I'm okay with it now...although I use it sparingly.

I hesitate to use it in my blog. Does it count with a K?

I'm not a holiday person. Especially New Years. I'm happy 36whatever days a year...don't force it on me.

Crowds freak me the fuck out.

I don't make yearly resolutions. I kinda do it by the minute.

Art from friends is my fav.

I've spent maybe 2 hours in my living room in the past 2 months. Might as well rent it.

I am the human equivalent of playdough.

I'm allergic to a lot of scented candles.

I love candles.

I talked to my mom through a candle for a while. You should have seen it when I talked about the slutty slutty Halloween costumes I was seeing. Flickered like crazy. She always hated slutty slutty Halloween costumes.

I wonder why women feel the need to wear slutty slutty Halloween costumes.

Maybe we should rename it Slutoween.

I like being treated to dinner.







Wednesday, December 14, 2011

On the Fourteenth Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Fourteenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

They just bought me $600 Stuart Weitzman boots at work. I think we're running.

I like $600 Stuart Weitzman boots.

I cannot tell a lie.

That's a lie...but I hate lying.

I will only lie if I truly think the truth is none of your freaking business.

I barely watch tv.

I sleep with my computer.

Despite the constant weeping, I haven't been this happy in years.

I kinda sorta only clean my apartments for guests.

When guests cancel, I'm rarely unhappy because...I have a clean apartment to myself.

I never did well on standardized testing.

I got into Yale through the backdoor.

I want my money back from Manhattan School of Music.

I am at my best as an autodidact.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

On the Thirteenth Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Thirteenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

This is my late daddy's birthday.

I'm a growed up orphan.

I have given away most of my books.

I only keep the books I haven't read or may read again.

I love to read but find it difficult recently.

I love a good nap and plan on taking one today.

I may want to be a producer. It's been noodling around in my noggin for a while. Or an astronaut. Or fireman.

I love my apartment and am careful whose energy I let on in. It's my safe place.

I like to hang on the fire escape at work. It makes me feel like I'm in a sitcom. And it's just plain outdoors...not a common feeling in the theater.

I like the outdoors.

I have a giant black bra hanging in my bedroom. It represents abundance.

I'm a pretty good stock investor.

My late daddy taught me how. Today is his birthday.





Monday, December 12, 2011

On the Twelfth Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Twelfth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I hate crowds.

I am a sensory defensive. Completely implode.

I self-nurture with hot baths and peanut butter.

If I don't get enough time to myself...again...I completely implode.

Implosion on the way.

I love glamming it up. Rarely get to do it.

I love good champagne.

I have stinky feet.

I believe my Goddess Kali lunchbox makes a perfect evening purse.

I'm supposedly a kinder person now.

I like making a lot of money.

My bed is my friend.


Sunday, December 11, 2011

On the Eleventh Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Eleventh Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

This is my first Broadway opening in a loooooooooong time.

I own many cocktail dresses.

I own more gowns.

I have a pair of grown up "Dorothy" shoes that make everything right with the world.

I didn't know my hair was curly curly.

Try though I might, I can't hold a grudge.

I still have a high F.

I have a performance low D.

I have encounters with ghosts.

Encounters with ghosts scare the crap out of me.

They are usually bangy ghosts.


Saturday, December 10, 2011

On the Tenth Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Tenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

When they serve the glass of wine with its little sidecar (the wee carafe), I inevitably drink too much.

I enjoy silent taebo in the dark.

For years I had a trunk and all my traveling cases as useful storage art in my bedroom.

A trunk and traveling cases in one's bedroom send a counter-productive message to the universe for a single girl.

I like books about witchcraft (and in fact took a course on the history of it at Yale).

I inherited some absolutely gorgeous jewelry that has an exquisite history.

I have Paul Bunyon-sized bunions.

I like a French pedicure. Makes me feel like I have four hands.

Contrary to popular opinion, I do not memorize easily.

To memorize, I have to write the lines out over and over again...that way it becomes cellular.




Friday, December 9, 2011

Dear Mr. Podoretz*


I am writing this to you and I hope that you will read it so you'll know...

That I can't figure out what show you saw. But it's certainly not the one I'm in.

The show I'm in is about two men who have lost their way...one when faced with the love of his life. One when faced with the loss of the love of his life. Together they find their way. It doesn't have a political bone in its lovely music theater body.

To have posted your "story" when you did, you must have seen it while changes were still going in--I don't care if you paid full price for the ticket--that was ungentlemanly and unsportsmanlike.

Or did you write your "story" in an hour? That would at least explain all the errors.

Okey dokey. I just thought you should know.



P.S. We all pine for Harry, bro.



*Yes. I'm aware I misspelled your name. A little TiZ for TaT.





On the Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I love presents.

I love presence.

My apartment was renovated this Spring...for free.

My apartment renovation that was supposed to last five days, lasted four weeks. I was cranky.

There was a time in my life when all I had to do was admire something that belonged to someone else and they would just give it to me.

I used that gift judiciously.

I'm pretty judgmental.

I'm working on it.

I recently learned that when a person says, "I don't like to think of myself as _____, they probably, most certainly, are _______." You can't work on it until you know it, right?




Thursday, December 8, 2011

On the Eight Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Eight Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I reiki babies. Talk about an amazing feeling.

When stressed I get terrible exzema...like halfway down my face. That's one of the reasons I wear bangs.

My forehead is so high, it's a fivehead. That's the other reason I wear bangs.

When stressed I can get some incredibly disgusting cold sores.

When stressed my blood pressure can drop low...really low. It could win a limbo contest.

I'm learning to remember to reiki myself when stressed.

I walk around this world pretty unprotected.

I take care of myself by taking care of others.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

On the Seventh Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Seventh Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I fucked up by not having kids.

I worry about who will wipe my ass when I am old and infirm.

My dressing room is on the 7th floor. My ass looks great for almost 50.

Swinging is screwing with my creative source, so I make sure I create every day now.

I cleaned my apartment this last Spring and threw out/gave away ten hefties of shite.

My job makes me feel like skilled labor as opposed to an artist.

I'm feeding my belly not my soul...it's all good. A full belly is a good thing.





Tuesday, December 6, 2011

On the Sixth Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Sixth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I passed out this summer.

My face hitting the bureau woke me up.

I was doing two shows at once...and online research.

I drink more now.

I have a best friend.

I own my first pair of show slippers. They are very important.

Monday, December 5, 2011

On the Fifth Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Fifth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you

I sang at my mom's funeral.

I sang well.

I have ridiculously skinny feet that bring tears to the eyes of professional cobblers.

I think I'm going through menopause.

I forgot to pause this summer and worked myself to the point of exhaustion.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

On the Fourth Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Fourth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I recently accidentally did audio porn. Listen.

I get paid to watch Eddie Izzard videos.

I did improv with Kristen Wiig.

I own a wig.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

On the Third Day of Christ*&^%$


On the Third Day of Christ*&^%$ TiZ reveals to you...

People like to tell me their secret stuff.

Sometimes they regret it and resent me for it.

I often wish people wouldn't tell me their secret stuff.

Friday, December 2, 2011

12 Days of Christ*&^%$



(just in case you were wondering)

On the Second Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Second Day of Christ*&^%$ TiZ reveals to you...

This is my first Broadway show in 13 years.

I turned down a Broadway show 6 years ago. I never regretted it.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

On the First Day of Christ*&^%$


On the First Day of Christ*&^%$ TiZ reveals to you...

If I thought last year was freakin' daunting, I can't figure out how I got through THIS year. (Maybe you'll tell me.)
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