Monday, December 17, 2012

On the Seventeenth Day of Christ*&^%$

On the Seventeenth Day of Christ*&^%$, BaX reveals to you...

Despite the fact I loved Bonnie and Lowell and the Human with the big brown eyes, I screamed for a couple of days straight because I missed my other family so much.

Then my intestines stopped working so good.

Then my skin got hotspots and deep in my ears got infected.

Then I tried to bite a couple of humans.

Then they NEUTERED ME! (I know it wasn't punishment.  I know they're just concerned about the dog population.  Me too.  How do you think I got here?)

Then the Human with the big brown eyes took me home and she became My Human and I became Her Dog.

She is not my mother.

She is my bitch.

She took me to obedience class.

I almost took her fingers off when we were trying to learn "down."

It took Second Human in Command (the wonderful, kind, German Human next door) to teach me that.

Now I do doggy push-ups.

Third Human in Command (the wonderful Human whose skin looks like my fur) taught me how to play good and hard.  We make a lot of racket.

I travel like a pro in planes and trains and buses and subways.

My car etiquette could be better.  I must remember dogs can't drive.  Dogs can't drive. Dogs can't...oh look...a squirrel.

I turn in circles to warn everyone I'm about to poop.

I have many possessions...a house, a hump bed, a little red carrier house, a little red jacket, a lambchop, a baby lambchop, a blue, a sockmonkey, a hedgehog, a rabbit, a bone, a bone, a bone, and My Human.

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