On the Sixteenth DaY of TiZmas

On the Sixteenth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I just re-read last year's offerings.  They were way better.

I am way sorry.

If you walked into my apartment, it would not be immediately apparent that I am an actor.

In my old apartment, my front-of-house Belle photos peer at you from on high.

Now my front-of-house Belle photos are closeted and only peek out when you seek them out.

You have to search for the theater in this house.

Except when you sit on the can.  Then it leaps off the wall at you.

Yes...my career is in the toilet.

I am officially on BST and it's taken almost a year.

BST = Broadway Standard Time.

I now essentially rise at 10 am and will continue to do so until there is good reason not to.

I cancelled four magazine subscriptions. There are still many more.

I currently have an entire laundry basket filled with unread magazine.

I would rather the laundry basket were empty so I could lounge in it.

My ass might not fit in the aforementioned laundry basket.

Sandy Hook.  Never forget.

On the Fifteenth DaY of TiZmas

On the Fifteenth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I know that as I'm aging I'm basically disappearing to society at large.

Unless you are a single woman around her fifties (or more), you would have no idea what I'm talking about.

I now understand the song "Mr. Cellophane."

But I still show up...because fuck you society at large.

A man I went on some dates with recently skedaddled because he thought I was fragile, non-confrontational and that he was going to steamroll me.

I still wonder who the hell I was when I was going on dates with him.  Had he met me?

Perhaps sometimes I don't show up. Perhaps he was crazy.

As sweet and fluffy as I can be, I play an aggressive, scrappy embodiment of evil quite well.

I take an epsom salt bath at least 5 nights a week.

I am not particularly pleased with this aging thingy that makes my body ache constantly.

Man oh man oh MENOPAUSE!

I kiss my dog...a lot.

Not much smells better than my dog.

Baxter has his own Instagram account.  @baxandthecity Check him out.

I am ridiculously proud that it has taken til the 15th DaY to write of Lord Baxter of Hudson.

On the Fourteenth DaY of TiZmas

On the Fourteenth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

The fourteen quotes that were the week...some chez moi, mostly overheard, some by famous people. You guess who!


From extraordinary to never-gonna-happen in just under 36 hours.  

Hey MTA - Fuck you

Ummm...I need my therapy...now.

Can someone remove his batteries? Please?

Be brave.

SLUMLORD!

Oh my God, they just gave my parents maracas.  I can't...

iMessage - %^&*FTTRG^IYUHK
iMessage response - Oh!

You are a different species of girl.  You are...old.

Necrophilism...it's a victimless crime.

Turning upstage? That's just cheating.  

Les Schizerable--Who am I? Who am I?

The book that will most change your life is the book you write.

I love you.

On the Twelfth DaY of TiZmas

On the Twelfth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

If you trudge 30 blocks in sleet and shitty snow to see a friend in the hospital, sure as shit you're gonna catch a shit cold. #shitshitshitshit

It was #worthit

Day 1 of the Flying Flag of Freak was very satisfying, thank you. #FFF

I like to do dance rehearsals rocking a headband and a high side pony. #80smagic

Nothing a headband and a high side pony can't cure. #thecure

I've been in PT over 5 months this year. #fmylife

I love that I have access to PT. #ilovewc

I hate the need for PT. #wcisapaininmyass

I hate that because of PT I'm in sweatpants in my work district. #notcoolenough4lululemon

I suck at #s. #isuck@hashtags

I never fully understood #s (in fact hated them) until the magic of @rachelrinc on the @lesmizbway Instagram account.  All other #ers need not apply. #donttrythisathome

I wonder if I should continue the 12 DaYs of TiZmas...this is the 12th DaY. #YouTellMe

On the Eleventh DaY of TiZmas

On the Eleventh DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I recently told some friends at work that I have been making myself small to give others room and make the workplace more congenial.

I do not mean this in a spatial manner (although I do that as well).

I then told them it was time to let my freak flag fly.

I did not fly the aforementioned freak flag.

The roof over my dressing table had some issues and drowned my space yesterday.

I threw out 90% of my stuff at the theater and took home precious belongings (all of which were uninjured). 

Management is doing the right and generous thing.  Thank you, management.

As they haven't replaced the acoustical tiles I can see clear through to the interior of the roof.

I believe it is the universe giving me headspace.

It is telling me to fly that freak flag.

This could get interesting.

On the Tenth DaY of TiZmas

On the Tenth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I appreciate my company managers no end -- not only are they great company managers, they are great  human beings.

When I made my Broadway debut 20 years ago I was 20 pounds lighter.

A year ago I could not watch "Girls." Tried one episode and ran for my grown-up life.

I hated it for its whiny entitled manner.

I have recently been binge-watching "Girls."

I believe any community is subject to urban blight.

I believe any community you belong to must be cared for...by you.

Seemingly a good night "sleeping on it" is my cure-all.

Some famous writers have told me I'm a good writer.

Writing scares me.

On the Ninth DaY of TIZmas

On the Ninth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I have issues with flooding and fire.

I have had to deal with both of these issues in a strange and small manner recently.  

They touch something very deep and little-Tiz frightened in me.

Maybe it's because my loved ones have had such terrifying and life-altering experiences with both in a large scale way.

I don't know.

Maybe it has to do with burning bridges.

I don't know.

Maybe it has to do with how little control we have over anything.

I don't know. Maybe all of the above...and more.

On the Eighth DaY of TiZmas

On the Eighth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I drink champagne when I am proud of myself.

I am proud of myself today.

In my life I have spent a total of $2500 on furniture.

I believe I'm about to double that on one piece.

Open Letter to My Castmates Stage Right - I may have inadvertently lied.  Upon second and third thought and whiff, it just might have been me that left a toxic cloud SR.

Continuation of Open Letter to My Castmates Stage Right - I am very sorry.

Oh-so-rarely I eat gluten.

Oh-so-rarely others have to pay. 

On the Seventh DaY of TiZmas

On the Seventh Day of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

Sometimes I feel the entire universe is conspiring for my bliss.

I spend a great deal of time in the bliss state.

I'm not exactly a brain surgeon when I'm blissed out. 

When someone asks "Does anyone want this dirty piece of sausage?" I answer "Yes please."

The Dog Park is a huge part of my bliss.

Being pinned down by Mickey and Jake to see who can lick me most is a form of bliss.

Mickey and Jake are dogs. 

On the Sixth DaY of TiZmas

On the Sixth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ puts down her foot...

Yesterday my upstairs neighbor awakened me at 6:15 am by clomping around in her high heels.

Yesterday (aka this morning) my upstairs neighbor kept me awake by having a birthday party that didn't end until about 2:30.

Then my upstairs neighbor proceeded to clean up...including vacuuming and the dragging of furniture.

My upstairs neighbor has NO RUGS.

My upstairs neighbor and I met at 3:30 am...I was wearing a robe.

My upstairs neighbor and I don't much like one another. HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY, NEIGHBOR!!!!

On the Fifth DaY of TiZmas

On the Fifth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I hate people being obviously secretive in public. Exhausting.

I have three radiators in my apartment.  All but one have been turned off.

If I make my bed in the morning I have a far more successful day than when I don't.

It has taken me just shy of 50 years to learn that. (I'm not saying I'm shy of 50 years...it's just I didn't make my bed before that.)

So my Pappy would think I could make my bed, I slept in it made so it would be perfect when he arrived in the middle of the night.  It makes absolutely no sense.  Gotta love a three year old brain.

On the Fourth DaY of TiZmas

On the Fourth DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I just bought my first pair of Doc Maartens.

They are patent leather cherry red.

They make my feet feel more like grown-up feet.

I know how to say toe jam in Finnish.

On the Third DaY of TiZmas

On the Third DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

Three of my toenails fall off on a regular basis.

My feet are so inconsequential as feet I call them "foot byproduct."  

The phrase "foot byproduct" disgusts most.

On the Second DaY of TiZmas

On the Second DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I once kept so many secrets my head almost exploded.

They were mostly other peoples' secrets.  I now promise this discretion to few.

On the First DaY of TiZmas

On The First Day of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I keep secrets well...for both myself and others.

The Twelve Days of TiZmas

Wherein I write about things TiZ...likes, dislikes, loves, hates, joys, tribulations...hopefully things I have not shared with you before.  Founded a couple of years ago, this is my yearly traditional exercise in being known. Outgoing introvert that I am, I hide myself.  I would like to stop that.  I would like to BE KNOWN.

I like TO KNOW as well, so if you wish to share things in the comments, I would be overjoyed.

21 DAYS OF THENARDIER

DAY 21

21 days come and gone.  I embarrassingly enough never got out of the habit of looking at my messages 2 1/2 hours before curtain to see if it was gonna be a Merry Christmas and I was on.

And luckily enough because that starts again on Tuesday.

I'm so glad we had this time together

Just to have a laugh or scream at kids

Seems we just get started and before you know it

Comes the time I'm right back on the skids.

Wheeee!  And I actually do love my regular track with all its ins and outs (and I mean that a variety of ways) and emotional journeys (I only mean that one way).

Cue Carol Burnett ear pull...except it will most likely be the ear of a smallish child.  

Tons of love,
Me

21 DAYS OF...VISIBILITY**

DAY 20

Yesterday was survived.  My only bad moments were while sitting in the dark.  Waiting for Cliffy up in the tower before act 1 finale I grew a bit dour.  And then waiting for the wedding.  There is limited opportunity for me to get upstairs festooned in all my finery, so I must go up early.  A chair is set in the dark and I get to listen to a lot of really, really sad songs about really, really dead people.

Let's partay....

Today was filled with family and friends and soooooo much food.  And flowers.  Delicate roses.  An armload of sunflowers the size of my head.  And the fancypants arrangements already waiting for me at home.

I love flowers. I do. Little makes me feel as wealthy.  Except maybe Baxter.  And my really excellent friends and family. And feeling seen.

Ka ching.

**I'm giggling 'cause that's not what I've really written about at all. I guess I meant to. And I will. I think it's important.  

21 DAYS OF...

DAY 19

This is my day of infamy...a doubly whammy anniversary that usually leaves me in bed for 20 hours.

This happened.

And then this happened.

If I had my druthers (a NaNa word), the day would be cancelled.  From the books.  Forever. October would only have 30 days...we'd just skip from the 16th to the 18th with nary a word.

But...since that ain't possible and I have to perform tonight, I am rousting myself  and leaving this blasted oh-so-comforting apartment with the bed that wails the siren's call of "come to me, bend to me." Before 1 pm.  From whence I go to PT, to a movie, to dinner, to fight call, to the show.

I hate this day. So i'm filling it with goodness and utility.

Bite me, whammiversary.  

Why is the measure of love loss?

21 DAYS OF...MEDITATION

DAY 18

Yup, I'm one of those.  Aerie faerie.  Edgy granola. I take my seat, watch my breath, witness  my thoughts, release them and hope the spins cease. 

YOU CAN DO IT TOO!

With the help of Marty @ www.OneMomentMeditation.com . A nifty way to touch home plate...especially when you're flailing in the outfield. (And where the feck did the baseball reference come from?) There are classes.  There's a youtube video.  THERE'S AN APP.

There is Marty -- my very own Christopher Robbin as I grew.

Give it a looksie.  Give it a try.  Drop in.