Monday, December 21, 2015
On the 21st DaY of TiZmas
On the 21st DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...
Woof...it's me, BAXTER!!!!! Here are 21 of my things...MY THINGS...in no specific order or specification...just things about ME!!! Because MyHuman has taken to talking about her junk drawer and I'm woofing tired of it.
I love to poo
I love to eat poo
I love to try and kiss MyHuman after I've eaten poo so she can share in the joy
She is very generous and leaves all that joy to me
I love LambChop
I love Baby LambChop
I will never be fooled by Counterfeit LambChop
I like to pull all the stuffing out of my HumpBed
Since I don't eat it, MyHuman lets me do it and then very patiently restuffs it
If the stuffing tasted like poo, I would definitely eat it
I have been in the cone of shame (or some version thereof) for 52 days
I am on my third antibiotic cream. There is enough steroid in this third cream to annihilate a small nation, and I hate it, but my eyes are feeling better and MyHuman no longer looks at me and makes bad faces
I hate the vet
They're really lucky MyHuman warns them of my hatred or they'd be minus some phalanges
The word phalanges makes me larf
I like it when MyHuman speaks to me in fake Japanese...makes me run around like an idiot
I like pretty girls
I especially like pretty girls with brown hair and big eyes
Since the cone of shame prevents me from cleaning my willy, MyHuman has taken to wiping it down with a warm, wet washcloth
She calls it my schmeckel and sings the schmeckel song
I like to hit MyHuman in the face with the cone of shame. Hours of fun for everyone
I am quite well-woofed for a small dog, I think. Please let MyHuman know if you would like to hear more from me. #woof And follow me on Instagram...BaxAndTheCity.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment