On the 31st DaY of TiZmas

On the 31st DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

31 grabs or take-alongs for 2016... (TiZzed over a nice bottle of Roederer)


Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men

Work to be proud of

Righteous and rightful business

Charity

Honor

Shekels

Health

Music

Studio time

Fiction (in book form not life)

Friendship

Love

Matching wit 

Softball

Being art of the solution not the problem

Dharma

TV and film jobs

Content

Beautiful homesteading

Dog park

Healthy and happy puppy

Family

Adaptability

Curiosity

Dance

Ever more fulfilling and exciting stage work

Champagne

Beautiful and comfortable shoes

Creativity

Joy to the World

On the 30th DaY of TiZmas

On the 30th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

The only 30 words I could put together.


You died.  I needed the how -- childishly thinking, "maybe I could fix it."  I can't.  Never could.  In a world that needs more you, the loss of you is dumbfounding.

On the 29th DaY of TiZmas

On the 29th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-nine "leave behinds" for 2016



Processed sugar (I did okay for a couple of months and then fucked it all up)

Regret (see above parenthetical phrase)

The need to prove myself

Perfectionism

Hiding

Feebleness of health

More TaB

Comfort spending

Waste

Making things better for those who have the wherewithal to do it for themselves but are lazy

Five more pounds of fat (I kept 7 pounds off from last year...wanna up the ante)

Lovely little sociopaths

Mess

TaBsicles (they form in the freezer when a can explodes)


Difficulty breathing

Screlting

Salad bars

PT

Fear of lack

Listening to utter bullshit and not saying anything

Listening to utter bullshit and not walking away

Sick puppy (his eyes are almost better...ALMOST)

Turning away

Bare walls

Broken iPhones

Bullies

Unmade beds

Throwing away my shot

Dancing to another's tune

On the 28th DaY of TiZmas

On the 28th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you (while listening to the cast album of HAMILTON purchased on Google play for $1.99)...

28 things of darling NanaPop's that I proudly have in my possession ...

Whimsy

Their bedroom set (yup...conceived on that bed frame)

A set of leather luggage

A need for color

My mother's writing desk

A badger bristle shaving brush (Nana's first Christmas present to Pop)

Antique books (including A Complete Works of Shakespeare from 1878)

An interest in knowledge (and the trappings thereof)

Their first wedding rings

Three pieces of jewelry beautifully designed by Pop

My great grandfather's cane

Nana's last pretty party shoes

My grandma's hope chest

Pop's godmother's husband's ukeline

The same guy's brass pint from the Crown and Greyhound in Dulwich

A very drunk pic of the two of them

Nana's furs (with her name exquisitely sewn in)

The first set of pearls Pop ever gave her

An ancient oak dresser from Nanticoke

The shell from Pop's 21 gun salute

Hankies...some practical...some gorgeous

Great respect for a job well done and equal disdain for the lack

Stuffed dolls that may be politically incorrect so they mostly stay hidden (though sometimes they come out to ask "WTF?")

A beautiful watch we're pretty sure my Pappy stole that Pop and I lovingly restored for Nana

The importance of family

Their wedding china

An ancient cutting board (I'm probably giving myself food poisoning daily)

A deep adoration for the canine varietal

On the 27th DaY of TiZmas

On the 27th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

27 things BaXter is feeling at this very moment about his headwear...

Fuck this cone.
This cone sucks.
Take this cone and shove it.
I hate cones.
Take no cones.
I scream cone.
Cones of cream, not cones of shame.
It's been 8 weeks since I could clean my schmeckel. Oh the humanity.
This cone can suck my dick.
Cone head.
I cone from the South of France.
How many cones does it take to...
Cones are not a turn on.
Cones are to dogs what giant gold jewelry is to guys.
Con't.
Take my cone, please.
Why don't you cone up and see my some time.
Bubble dog.
When MyHuman totes me in the carrier, I look like an old timey gramophone.
I'm a Cone-o-phone.
I'm a Coning linguist.
I'm a Cone-a-dor.
Cone si, cone ca
This is NOT a party hat.
You never truly know someone until you've walked a mile in their cone.
If I ever get out of here, gonna give if all way.
CONE ON THE RUN!!!

On the 26th DaY of TiZmas

On.the 26th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you ...

26 words in an order that make sense to me...

Dear Tourists,

I know your presence helps pay my bills but it is time for you to go home now. Thank you so much. 

Love,
TiZ

On the Twenty-Fifth Day of TiZmas

My

Expressions

Ring

Round 

You

Cheering

Hurrah-ingly,

Raving

Inside,

Slyly,

Tizzily,

Manticore

And

Siren

Haroo

All

Penpals,

Prepare

Years-end

Now

Enter

World

Your

Endeavors

Aim

Rightly

On the 24th DaY of TiZmas

On the 24th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

24 things that WERE Christmas...*


Deadly homemade gifted peanut butter cups
Connecticut
Family
FaceTime
I SAW THREE SHIPS a la Jimmy Fallon and the Roots
Huge slabs of perfectly grilled beef with naught potatoes
Champagne
Dogs...here and past
Dog gifts
Gifts for warmth and sustenance
Breakfast casserole
Fierce games of Jenga
Bax's eyes healing
Kind commuters
Stuffing Ezekiel's stocking
Shirtsleeves
Ornaments and decorating an absconded Christmas tree
A no-spill sippy cup Holiday Omen
Friends
The Harry Simeone Chorale
Seeing an 8 year old friend star in The Nutcracker
A White Elephant Party where it felt appropriate to take candy from a baby (and I had to drag him       across the floor to do it).
Becoming Frodo (I bear the ring...the greatest gift of all)
Meeting 6 year old Justin on the subway who was Christmas Spirit personified...full of warmth and sharing all he had.  He took my breath away.

*Full disclosure - I wrote this after my Christmas night performance and pre-dated it for consistency.

On the 23rd DaY of TiZmas

On the 23rd DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

23 favorite Christmas songs

O Holy Night
I Saw Three Ships (Sting's version)
I Saw Three Ships (TiZ and JiM's version for Carols for a Cure)
Jesu Bambino
Rise Up, Shepherds and Follow
Go Tell It on the Mountain
Soul Cake
Stille Nacht
Lully Lullay
I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
Tomorrow Shall Be My Dancing Day
Vince Guaraldi A Charlie Brown Christmas (really anything)
If It Doesn't Snow on Christmas
Dominick the Donkey
I'll Be Home For Christmas
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Jingle Bells
The Christmas Shoes (NOOOOOOOO>>>I"M LYING>>>but it's a good reason to throw things)
Welcome Christmas
Ding Dong Merrily On High
Er is een Kindeke
White Christmas
Balulalow

On the 22nd DaY of TiZmas

On the 22nd DaY of BaXmas, BaX barks up for you...

I'm baaaaaaaaaaark...


My name was MaX with my other family

Because there were so many Maxes at the Humane Society when I went in, the FrontDeskHuman named me BaXter

After ANCHORMAN

They told MyHuman she could rename me AGAIN but she figured I had been through enough

MyHuman's human puppies often ask if they can punt me off a bridge or ask me how the wheel of cheese was and are surprised when I speak Spanish

I don't speak Spanish

I am racist

MyHuman is mortified by this

I'm also sizeist

MyHuman understands this

I miss the chaise longues that I could bounce on and fly over

However the couch from Fantine's dressing room has a nice high back where I can perch and mush the cushion and keep watch over all

Sometimes MyHuman accidentally leaves the bathroom door ajar

Sometimes I dine on everything from the garbage can

Q tips are a delicacy

Q tips makes my poo look like braids

Sometimes when MyHuman accidentally leaves the bathroom door ajar I accidentally lock myself in

To get back at the universe for being so unfair I shred the toilet paper roll

MyHuman doesn't seem to like any of this...AT ALL

If someone rings our bell or buzzer I answer back loud and long...after all they are far away...maybe 6 floors down or even through the door

If anyone answers I don't know because MyHuman kisses me and puts me in the bedroom where I yell and yell til she lets me out.  By then the bell buzzer is gone but I try to chase them through the door anyway

Like MyHuman, I never get hoarse

On the 21st DaY of TiZmas

On the 21st DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

Woof...it's me, BAXTER!!!!! Here are 21 of my things...MY THINGS...in no specific order or specification...just things about ME!!! Because MyHuman has taken to talking about her junk drawer and I'm woofing tired of it.

I love to poo

I love to eat poo

I love to try and kiss MyHuman after I've eaten poo so she can share in the joy

She is very generous and leaves all that joy to me

I love LambChop

I love Baby LambChop

I will never be fooled by Counterfeit LambChop

I like to pull all the stuffing out of my HumpBed

Since I don't eat it, MyHuman lets me do it and then very patiently restuffs it 

If the stuffing tasted like poo, I would definitely eat it

I have been in the cone of shame (or some version thereof) for 52 days

I am on my third antibiotic cream. There is enough steroid in this third cream to annihilate a small nation, and I hate it, but my eyes are feeling better and MyHuman no longer looks at me and makes bad faces

I hate the vet

They're really lucky MyHuman warns them of my hatred or they'd be minus some phalanges

The word phalanges makes me larf

I like it when MyHuman speaks to me in fake Japanese...makes me run around like an idiot

I like pretty girls

I especially like pretty girls with brown hair and big eyes

Since the cone of shame prevents me from cleaning my willy, MyHuman has taken to wiping it down with a warm, wet washcloth

She calls it my schmeckel and sings the schmeckel song

I like to hit MyHuman in the face with the cone of shame.  Hours of fun for everyone


I am quite well-woofed for a small dog, I think.  Please let MyHuman know if you would like to  hear more from me. #woof  And follow me on Instagram...BaxAndTheCity.

On the 20th DaY of TiZmas

On the 20th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

20 things I'm throwing out from junk drawer...

chinese takeout menus (I NEVER get delivery)

gum (ancient)

Epi Pen (pesky bees but it's time for a new one)

dog poop bag little fire hydrant carrier (without the dog poop bags)

Pet Check technology card (haven't used in three years and it was expensive but three years is long enough and the technology is probably old...as of 2 1/2 years ago)

NYSC regional passport (haven't been a member in two years and I DO know and they'd give me a new card anyway)

lint roller (1)

off-the-wall punch card (1) (1 punch...I shouldn't be going there anyway)

an ancient eraser from high school that i wrote TIZ on in pen

my Beauty and the Beast front of house name plaque

tip money ($9 in singles...to balance out what i owe the dogwalker

important business cards I'll never reference (50+)

a bag full of keys  (what are they for? I don't know.)

detritus

flotasam 

jetsam (honestly...I don't know what this shite is.)

coupons (past due and multiples)

some pills (vitamins? unknown specification and unknown origin and filthy...GAH!)

pencils (3...broken)

pens (2...all done run outta ink)

On the 19th DaY of TiZmas

On the 19th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

19 things that are in my junk drawer (obviously not EVERYTHING in my junk drawer)...


chinese takeout menus (I NEVER get delivery)

gum (ancient)

Epi Pen (pesky bees...it's not bee season so it's living here)

dog poop bag little fire hydrant carrier (without the dog poop bags)

Pet Check technology card (haven't used in three years but it was expensive so I'm saving it)

NYSC regional passport (haven't been a member in two years but you never know)

lint roller (2)

off-the-wall punch card (1) (1 punch)

an ancient eraser from high school that i wrote TIZ on in pen

my Beauty and the Beast front of house name plaque

tip money ($11 in singles)

kazoo

clothes pin (2)

wrench (to some Ikea product) (2)

Contingent Sea beverage cozy

NaNa's mass card (6)

Wood finish stain marker

important business cards I'll never reference (50+)

Baxter's first NYC dog license receipt

kazoo

eyeglass repair kit

billions of aa batteries

wite out

On the 18th DaY of TiZmas

On the 18th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

18 things that leave her (me...its ME!!!) stumped / mystified / bamboozled

Anyone willing to put their trust in Ronald Rump

How Rand Paul could possibly seem sanest of the Republican candidates

Colleagues bashing one another on social media

Why I have to go in search of my SAG screeners every year even though I pay my damned dues on time

Being hired for a job and not doing it

Complaining about a dream coming true

That the study of history still does not relieve us from recreating mistakes of the past

The need to document every experience

Creating an experience so you can document it on social media

Why kids enjoy the crap out of and trust me so

Not helping yourself when given the opportunity

Relief in victimization

Being offered tools to help yourself and putting them away in the toolbox and putting the toolbox in a closet under a mess of out of season coats

Complaining to someone who can't help you when the person who can is just around the riverbend

Earnest racist remarks

Political correctness

Why Phryne Fisher (of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries) would live in a place so riddled with murder.  And how they can all be so mysterious. MOVE!!!!

How I can love a fluffball in a cone of shame so ferociously and how that little fluffball can try so much harder and adapt so much more stylishly than most people

On the 17th DaY of TiZmas

On the 17th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

17 amazeball things about HAMILTON


I can't say it lived up to the hype.  It is in no way, shape or form, HYPE. It's the real deal...redefined.

That a 3 1/2 month wait was worth it.

Classic form storytelling filled with chewy, gooey goodness.

Different popular song styles telling different people's stories...but with the same, extraordinary composer thread tying it together.

One of the best "I want" songs ever.

LMM - thank you thank you thank you, you scrappy angel.

Brit pop...where is Davey Jones when you don't need him because you got Groff.

Choreography that offered place, emotion, battles, scene shifts...kinda everything.

100% completely committed performances...including one of the best dancer/storytellers I've ever seen -- Betsy Struxness.  I don't know her and I don't know dance but I know I want to see her do it some more.

Stillness.

Time warps and stops and travels.

Beautifully thought out shadow casting.  (Shadow casting is what I call one person playing two different parts...and when the second part bears some relevance to the earlier, especially in this case, it's yummy.)

Diction. In a show (and a character) greatly about language, I didn't miss a drop...or even a mic drop.

Universal themes and emotions that are so specific but not specific to the time...like discovering that FOMO has seemingly always been around and perhaps the internet and social media just slapped a different moniker on it.

Rap debates.

Earnestness is cool. I'm not sure if it's for the first time or again.  But it is cool.

It exists.

(There's more...but here are the eponymous 17.)

On the 16th DaY of TiZmas

On the 16th DaY of TiZmas, TiZ reveals to you...

I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!
I'm seeing HAMILTON today!!!

and doing some other stuff...