Saturday, May 2, 2009

The Circle of Life

Many, many thanks to those of you who vidi, vince e venne…e scrive. It’s been a real cheerer-upper. Ya see, I’m detoxing. Nah, I’m not in some facility (although I’m feeling like I should be)—it’s a dietary detox. No red meat, dairy, eggs, gluten, caffeine, sugar, sugar substitute, citrus, alcohol units...or TaB. Okay, I’m allowing myself one Nectar of the Gods a day or I don’t think I'd survive. I have zits. I have hives. I honestly feel like I snogged the little kid who snogged the pig. I do NOT feel good.

But what does feel great are your responses. I have a few favorites—

“Sure you were an awesome piece of tiz & ass.”

”Not sure what this is, but I probably won’t attend since I’m at work.”

“Love. Your. Blog. LovettLovit!”

“All Pregnant Women Should Drink Tab.”

“I love the way it says: so and so plans to attend Tiz and Ass. That's hot.”

“…and speaking of the March sex life…you know it's bad when you start browsing through manhunt pages for random other COUNTRIES to see if there's anybody more appealing anywhere else in the world!!!”

And last but def not least, Tish’s

“I read my 12-year-old your (uncensored) sex-free apartment comments and she was rolling. I think she wants to know how I actually know anyone that funny when I am, well, mom.”

OH MY GOD! I actually de-friended my nephews from my Facebook account because…well…they’re my nephews…AND THEY’RE 17 AND 20. I just couldn’t have them read about the Adventures of Aunt Goddess. If I ever get to be a mom, I’m hoping I’m as cool as Tish, who is, btw, very funny.

I actually met her 12-year-old within a year of obtaining the apartment that sex forgot. She was all of two, and I was on a sit-down of the national tour of…ummm…The Poseidon Adventure….yeah, that’s it…in L.A. I was involved with an economist from Stanford (because we had sooooo much in common) and would fly up to Palo Alto weekly to get me some of the stuff that my apartment was withholding. Lo and behold, college friend Tish lived in the area and we reunited with some Riunite (on ice—that’s nice)...before lunch. In that definitely toxic state I watched my first Teletubbies.

And I outed Tinky Winky. A week before Jerry Falwell. I outed Tinky Winky to a beautiful two-year-old. Who wouldn’t with the gay-pride color and the handbag and the high voice and the glorious triangle antenna?

Seems others wouldn’t have. But I did. Unlike the Christian Right, we did NOT boycott Tinky Winky…or Dipsy, Laa-Laa or Po. We watched them that much more. And the fact that I remember all their names may be why I’m detoxing today.

Oh, the Circle of Life.


  1. Heh. Outing Tinky Winky. I'd forgotten about that. Awesome. Of course, that same 12 year old has been telling me for quite a while now that she wishes she could live naked in the woods being raised by wolves. No connection with that early childhood trauma, longing for a return to innocence etc. I'm SURE.. .

  2. Oh, and Tiz -- I remember the encounter we had in NY before that when you and Jinx* and I went to some lovely little upscale French restaurant and you had something nonalcoholic because you were singing or training or something (obviously I remember because it was such a shock) and we drank much wine to make up for you and therefore were even more amused when you received your order of something with lobster or some other sea cockroach and the antennae were decoratively arranged on the plate. And because we were completely willing to indulge you as you disgraced us all, we sat by giggling as you made the antennae dance and do a little tap dance on the table with olives or cherries or something as shoes . . . Mostly what I remember is laughing twice as hard because you had that elfin grin and giggle when you did it. Ah, good times.


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