Friday, June 11, 2010

I'm Writing...

...'cause I am lonely. Really lonely. I'm working on a show with a LOT of people in it. More people than I've worked with in a year (discounting the 75 orphans in ANNIE).

Too many people. I find it virtually impossible to connect.

I'm living in a house with seven other people. All very respectful of space. But so many people. I've never lived with so many. Until I was five years old there were six others in the house. And for a while we all shared one bathroom. ONE TOILET. That was a treat.

Too many people. I'm finding it virtually impossible to connect.

And I go on ever lengthening walks.

And these people (who are really lovely) seem to think I'm weird. And don't mind telling me so. I'm playing the Beggar Woman for Chrissake. Get a grip. What am I supposed to say in response? "You're stupid? Fat?" Speaking of which, my feelings of not belonging were certainly not helped by someone in rehearsal yesterday declaring that I was having an easier time lying on the frigid floor playing dead because I had more padding.

I am 46 years old, 5' 6" and weigh 125 pounds. Bite my padded ass.

And I go on ever lengthening walks.

This play has loss as a major theme and I guess I'm feeling it right now. Strongly. Plus I'm pretty darn sure I absolutely suck.

All of this is exacerbated by the fact I haven't had a day off in three and a half weeks. No alone days for Tizzy. And for all my yearning for an alone day...

I'm tired of walking alone.


  1. You'd better be careful or we'll all launch into a lovingly-intended, yet horribly-multi-key version of "You'll Ne-ver Walk A-loooooooone."

    We may not all be close enough to go on walks with you, but you're stuck with us, even so. :-)

  2. Remember the production we did in Ezra Stiles. Remember making your entrance at the beginning of the show, walking by the band with their pants around their ankles.

    Remember your smile.

    I certainly do.

    And when you remember that, and know that you're remembered... you aren't alone.

    Love always,
    Dr. Dth

  3. ...Looking back at the footsteps in the sand, she said, "Are those the places - the toughest stretches - where there is only one set of footsteps - is that when you carried me?
    And the Lord looked at her with pathos and said, "Hell, no! I went to the Baal's Tiki Bar. I suggest you try it."


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