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There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Aren’t these shoes great? More about them later…

I have been absent from my sexless abode for almost seven weeks now. By the time I return it will have been ten weeks…the longest I’ve left it bereft in more than a decade.

I miss it.

I miss New York.

I miss the smell of human urine.

It’s not that I don’t like St. Louis. I do. But there is a general absence of the eau de piss humaine. No lack of culture…theater abounds, a great joint called the City Museum (basically a giant playground with a 7-story slide), and a world class botanical garden. Not to mention the custard best known as Ted Drewes. And if you are a gun-totin, casserole-eatin, cigarette-smokin Republican, it’s truly the town for you.

I am none of those things.

Now, if i have offended any of you St. Louisians, I apologize. That being said, however and whatever, I am unused to a society where one has to be reminded to check one's firearm at the door. I am unused to a society where the quantity of food consumed is celebrated.

Please don't hate me. I just miss my city. New York has been my home for half my life now and we've wended and blended and it's morphed itself into a much needed appendage. And when absent for too long, I’m a bit of a gimp.

My show opened recently and I am now faced with the long days. For the first time in forever, I have leisure and it’s confounding. Should I consume it with constructive activity? Or should I lax it up a bit in preparation for five-show weekends and my inevitable return to New York where I will confoundedly pound the pavement, bark down doors, and egress and aggress with a curtsy and a smile just to be noticed?

There must be Middle Ground for La Gimp Imp.

Today has consisted of a teensy tv, a uke nuke, the ever present and potent Anal Game, work-out world, cv nb, writing to you and being turned on to this adorable video.




Which I have watched ad assholian because I love all things canine (Remember the Ollie Chronicles?). It’s molto adorabile, right?

Meditation minutes, bathing beauty, a shiny show and some yoga y’all should finish off the day.

I'll live in the Land of Middle Mania until I can return to the place I love the best.