Mean-Spirited Moi

Okey dokey…I know I can be a bitch. YOU know I can be a bitch. And I’m about to demonstrate the above…below.

So…years ago I dated this guy. If you’ve been flogging the blog, you will remember him as “Rush Limbaugh Lover.” He also loves Ann Coulter. (Gay Husband and I call her “Ass Cu&ter”)*

As he grew up in a neighboring village, he is one of the reasons I’ve steered clear of St. Louis. As I wended my way through the autumn without my whereabouts being uncovered, I thought I’d be safe this summer.

She’s OUT!

The morning after Annie opened, the following popped up in my inbox. (That sounds dirty, right?)

I hope the opening was great. I would have loved to have taken the kids to The Muny to see the show, but we won't be in-country until July. (I think the last show I saw from the grass was Gypsy with Tyne Daly!)

I've planned to leave our trip this summer a more open-ended, most of July and probably part of August. I want the kids to spend time some with their grandparents and the rest of the family. Maybe, if you don't mind being seen with an intellectual troglodyte** and your Drowsy cast doesn't already plan to do so, you'll let me take you out for your birthday.

Tim

This was the first missive I’d received from him in close to three years. I’d shut him down after a twenty-two paragraph email, nine paragraphs of which had detailed the women he’d dated since we’d broken up. I was just the teensiest bit peeved.

However, since he reached out and since I believed I had forgiven, I reached back…albeit tentatively.



hey tim -

wow. let's just say performing in 101 degree heat index wearing two layers of wool and some fur was perhaps the most disgusting experience of my life.

sweet birthday sentiment. thank you. believe a friend will be in-country (?) at that time but thanks for the offer. perhaps a quick ted drewes another time...

hope you and the kids are well.

tiz


I thought my response was pleasant, non-committal and appropriate after three years (and a recent heart-break).

This is the passive-aggressive bullshit I got in response.


And it's only June. At least you'll get to work inside for the rest of the season.

At least you'll have a contiginency. Admittedly, it may rank just below room service alone in your hotel room and only slightly ahead of working as a fill-in at a medieval times festival, though.*** If your friend is not able to be there and you find yourself choosing the former, you'll be able to rationalize, "Well, I could have gone out with Tim." (It's the least I can do for you.)

We are well, thanks. I could certainly go into excruciating detail,**** but I'll spare you that. In short, the kids are healthy and getting along in their respective worlds. Of course, I think of you always in a good way and wish only nice things for you.

We'll see about Ted Drewes. Enjoy your summer.

Tim

I just don’t understand the thru-line of the “contiginency” paragraph. Can you tell me what he is trying to say? I'm beginning to feel like an intellectual troglodyte myself.

But It’s the Ted Drewes comment that pisses me off the most. We’ll see? We’ll SEE? What? Is fat boy on a diet? We will not be seeing about Ted Drewes. We will not be seeing about anything.

Forgiveness has seemingly fled the premises and a fog of fuming, flatulent self-righteousness has seeped into the cracks of my soul.

Am I way out of line here, people? Am I choosin' a bruisin’? Please tell me.

Am I exorcising demons or exercising them?

Forgiveness will return. It has to...for my sake.


*I just learned to say that word. I obviously still have trouble committing it to print.

**He is an intellectual troglodyte. He believes he can prove empirically that being gay is a choice. He also believes he can prove that Hitler did not know about the gas chambers. And my only question is, “Why?” And it's not that I mind being seen with an intellectual troglodyte...it's that I mind BEING with an intellectual troglodyte.

***One of my worst nightmares and he knows it.

****Something he is famous for. I’m not sure if it's symptomatic of a conservative or an intellectual troglodyte.