Games People Play

So…when you leave town to do a show that’s not on the BroadWAY (aka regional theater) sometimes you have to share a car with castmates. And sometimes travel to the theater can be extensive. Listen to me…as a New Yorker if I have to spend more than fifteen minutes it’s TRAGIC. But when you spend a tragic amount of time in a car with castmates, you get to know them…and the games people play.

I was introduced to the following game by a new friend/castmate/leading man/SUPERSTAR. I find it more titillating than the License Plate Game.

Let’s call it the Anal Game.

Take the word “anal,” add “model of car” and it equals the sum of FUN. I try to play only while passengering (I ride shotgun or Kurt Cobain) as I almost rear-ended someone while trying to read their model while commandeering a large metal object behind whose wheel I should never be.

What?

But here are just a few examples…

Anal Frontier
Anal Discovery
Anal Explorer
Anal Jimmy
Anal Cougar
Anal Odyssey
Anal Sidekick
Anal Avanti
Anal Cavalier
Anal Silhouette
Anal 4x4
Anal Vibe
Anal Hummer
Anal Echo
Anal Aura
Anal Yukon
Anal Tahoe
Anal Escalada
Anal Sierra
Anal Crown Victoria
Anal Focus
Anal Ranger
Anal Grand Marquis
Anal Towncar
Anal Courier
Anal Flex
Anal EcoSport
Anal Fiesta
Anal Excalibur
Anal Escape
Anal Mariner
Anal Montego
Anal Thunderbird
Anal Ka
Anal Daewoo
Anal Accord
Anal Silhouette
Anal Fusion
Anal Edge
Anal Accord
Anal Contour
Anal Vue


and last but not least, an oldy but a goody…

Anal Woody.

I know the list is extensive, but I don't think I've even begun to plumb the depths. We’re talking hours of assholian enjoyment, best known as anal stimulation. Try it at home. Try it on the road. Let me know what you come up with...bitch.*

*Remember…never end a sentence with a preposition, bitch**
**Sometimes I just like to write "bitch."