Pulling Punches

Okey dokey. I pulled punches with my Oprah blog. She really has reached full-fledged ridiculousity with her tear-ridden farewell more than a year and a half before the actual farewell.

Where has the real Oprah gone and who is this goon?

Okay, back ot the Monkey Lady show. Why didn't Oprah mention that M.L.'s health bills are exorbitant and that the family could use some help paying the bills? That being said, why hasn't a 501(c)3 charitable trust been set up for M.L.? There is a trust but it isn't registered? What is that about? And since it was supposedly important to M.L. that legislation regarding keeping wild animals as pets be altered, why weren't there some instructions on who to write and what to write and blah freaking blah?

And funnily enough, Connecticut does have a law prohibiting people from keeping primates weighing more than 50 pounds as pets and requiring owners of exotic animals to apply for a permit. The new law took effect in 2004 because of an incident with Travis (the aforementioned chimp who was 150 pounds over the limit). The Connecticut D.E.P. did not enforce the law on Travis which makes no sense whatsoever. And also makes the whole intention of the stinking program a moot point.

I smell exploitation and it stinks something awful.

I, btw, have shared the Monkey Lady story with many people...sometimes random folk I barely know. And you know what? When I act out "Oh, you have something on your face," every single one of them mimics the expression of the audience at the Jerry Springer Show when they're yelling "No, she DIDN'T" at some bimbo who slept with her first cousin while married to her brother and giving birth to her twin.

And I will continue to tell the story. I dig the reactions in some weird, twisty, dented spot in my soul.

And because Carla Nash may just be Lazarus but Oprah sure isn't Jesus. Charla Nash rose from the dead long before she met Oprah. That record needs to be set straight.

And Oprah needs to keep her stinking hands to herself.

I think I'm cranky. Do you think I'm cranky? Yup. I'm cranky.

If you wanna take credit for changing someone's life, Ope, take credit for that.