Monday, October 11, 2010

Oh, Ben!

Oh, Ben! I know what you did last summer!

You think by hitting the delete button I won't see the little love letter you wrote? These blogs send their authors email updates when people comment.

"Ben has left a new comment on your post "Der Spaziergang by Marc Chagall":

A man much harder than you created that. Wikipedia Marc Chagall. He was Jewish in Europe in World War 2. Adversity enlightens, so I'll just assume your asshole trying to be Billy Badass. Too bad you don't know how to fight."

It was a really sweet email to wake up to, Bitch.*

I know who Marc Chagall is. And no, I'm not hard. Never have been.** Did you mean "heartier?"

You AsSume a lot. Yes, I do have an AsShole but neither it nor I have ever tried to be Billy BadAsS. I'm a pixie-faced pinhead and my AsShole is...well...just my AsShole. It does its job pretty well...most of the time.

So does my pixie-faced pinhead.

What concerns me about your comment, Ben, is...well...a number of things.

1. You actually played the Holocaust card*** on my blog. (That's what you meant by World War II. You had to because Marc Chagall was in the States for more of World War II than he was in Europe.)
2. You seem to find the Holocaust enlightening.
3. You think enlightenment makes a person hard and a fighter.
4. Your grammar is crap.

But really. What do I know, Ben? I don't know you, so who am I to comment?

Okay. That was fun. Have a nice day, Ben.

*Remember...never end a sentence with a preposition.
**But I was DRUNK when I retorted to the comment that Marc Chagall's painting was "GGGGAAAAAYYYY!" If we're all into AsSumptions today, I'm AsSuming you found that particular comment enlightening.
***And that's what it is when thrown down like this. When you write of genocide, and you will, don't use it to diss a trifle called TIZ AND ASS.


  1. I do not find murder to be enlightening at all. One death is too many.

  2. How did you come to interperate my words as an attack against you?

  3. Adversity enlightens in that by moving past one's desire to be accepted one can be free.

  4. the "too bad you don't know how to fight" comment is how i came to that conclusion, as writing GGGGAAAAYYY doesn't seem to be a fight, but my response know what i mean?

    but thank you so much for clarifying.

    i'm confused again (but this time not in a cranky, petulant, "i haven't had enough sleep" kinda way. why would you think adversity has anything to do with a need for acceptance? adversity is about hardship and misfortune...a bad turn of events. or is it a direct reference to chagall and his not feeling particularly comfortable in the united states?

    and thank you, actually, for pissing me off. it set me to writing again. i had become...not a badass but a lazy ass...when it came to la blogue.

  5. I don't normally blog, but I love reading and writing. I meant that going through difficult trials helps us grow as people. It is unfortunate how life turned against Chagall, but many have suffered because of tyrants that's why violence is unfortunatly necessary sometimes. You're from AZ?

  6. And my grammar is crap because I've been smoking too much since I escaped the army (not AWOL). So you're in NYC?!? I'm sooo jealous how's the weather? I wanted to go to Hofstra, but ended up in Tucson. Who's your favorite artist? I like Van Gogh cause he was out in left field with Poe.


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