Thursday, February 18, 2010

On the 33rd Day of Christ*&^%$

On the 33rd Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

33 Things I Currently Don't Understand

1. Why anyone would be offended by my bringing a can of TaB into an audition. The rooms are DRY, folks. Would you rather me crack?

2. Why a healthy 20 year old woman would choose to sit on the subway floor.

3. Why her boyfriend would wipe his nose with his hand and then grab and re-grab the pole. I'm NEVER touching a subway pole again.

4. How my judgment can still be M.I.A. at terribly important moments.

5. How I can get have a hangover from two glasses of wine.

6. Why I can't remove bloopy sounds on Audacity with noise removal. Help if you have a clue what I am talking about, 'cause I obviously don't.

7. Why, recovering Catholic that I am, I forget about Ash Wednesday every year and believe there has been some kind of horrific accident, a new cult in town, or they're doing a remake of 'Children of the Corn.'

8. Why I still find it kind of amusing that my landlord (13 years ago), who suffered from burns and major smoke inhalation from a fire, waited 6 weeks to pass...on ASH WEDNESDAY! Sorry. It's kinda funny.

9. How it hasn't come out that RuPaul and Wendy Williams are one and the same.

10. How so many didn't know that Haiti existed pre-earthquake.

11. How so many didn't know that Haiti has been in major crisis for eons.

12. Why I find poo so funny,

13. Why people read my blog (other than I tell them to and threaten to beat them up if they don't).

14. Why I piss off so many people just by being myself. I'm not hurting anyone.

15. Why my shelf-life as a woman also coincides with my shelf-life as an actress. No one warned me of this. Sucky Suck Suck.

16. Why my friends bring me flowers when they visit. I LOVE that.

17. Why Terry died.

18. Why my dreams spin my reality in such a "whacked-out what have you been smoking right before you go to bed" way.

19. Upon waking, why I still believe said dreams are true. Reality, anyone?

20. How my ego can still wail like a banshee.

21. Why I would rather be bad and remembered than mediocre and lost in the mix.

22. Why people who don't know me at all try to friend me on Facebook but don't send an accompanying note, thus leaving me to send my "Do I know you?" missive. Help me out, folks.

23. Why Brandon's dad would EVER think I wouldn't remember him.

24. How people can be so familiar yet so surprising. These are the BEST people

25. Why anyone wouldn't want to go to a free movement class at Chelsea Piers. Soooo much fun.

26. Why TaB tastes so good.

27. Why I have such difficulty letting go of the past. It wasn't all that, right?

28. Why the heat in my apartment can range 20 degrees in one day.

29. Why I'm not sick ALL the time.

30. How I can be so grounded when I sing and so flighty the rest of the time.

31. Why I have such difficulty writing a beginning, middle and end.

32. What Farmville is and why Farmville is.

33. Why my day goes better when I blog.

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