Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Weaning

Yes...that is what I am doing...about 45 years too late. No...not that kind of weaning. I am weaning myself off the scopes.

And it's not gonna be easy.

If you meander back into July on ye olde blahg, you'll find I wrote a post about all the horoscope and tarot websites I have to score before I can set boot out my door...a low estimate is a bjillion and a half.

And today I attended one. Just one. www.Astrocenter.com . I don't think I'll be able to give up my first baby.

Oh my Goddess, I've already lied. I attended www.FreewillAstrology.com as well just because...well because it's a weekly and it's so funny and off and prescient. But that's it. Okay...once a month I can't miss www.AstrologyZone.com . But a dear, brilliant guru friend suggested I could find another half an hour every day if I cut back on this ridiculous venture. And that's what I'm doing.

While we discussed my little OCD, I discovered this is just another manifestation of my need to hand over the reigns of my life. Give someone/something else the responsibility. I mean, if my fucking horoscope says I'm a loser then it is okay to be a loser. And if my fucking horoscope says I'm going to win the lottery and I don't, well then it's just a fucking liar and disappointment like so many...

Oh wow...gonna stop now. Just know I'm taking control and seeing how it goes. This is a funhouse ride I haven't been on in a while. The entrance fee isn't high...JUST MY LIFE.

Oh, Mommy.

2 comments:

  1. Now see, here's where we differ. I consult the 'scopes when I feel the need to regain the illusion of control. When I'm completely accepting of the fact that I control nothing, I don't bother consulting them at all. Interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  2. yes, different. i'm getting a lot done but feel completely at sea, adrift, treading water. now, if only i could walk on the damned water, THAT would be something.

    and my hair looks great.

    ReplyDelete

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