Shoot the Should

And the weaning continues. I actually blew out my hair for the first time in a year. I had time on hand‘cause I wasn’t putting my life in the hands of a bjillion horoscopes. Blow-drying my hair is akin to a contact sport and yet it’s something I supposedly should have been doing all along.

Oh, that WORD!

Blow-drying?

No…should.

Why should I? Why? Who made up this word “should” anyway. They shouldn’t have.

“Should” is used for giving advice or an opinion or a recommendation. I’m okay with its auxiliary function (or “fun”tion) to express probability, but the other un-fun auxiliary fucktions? No, thanks. Have the balls to say “must.” Have the gumption to “have to.” But “should?” Nuh uh.

And recently I got “should” on for an entire weekend. (I’m gonna drop the quotation marks from here on in. They’re tiresome.)

I hadn’t asked for advice. I hadn’t asked for opinion. Or a recommendation. I’m very careful of whom I ask such things…the scopes and a few folks-in-the-know. I had asked for nothing but company. But I should have known. (I believe that’s its auxiliary “fun”tion use, btw.) I got advice. I got opinion. I got recommendation. I was even the recipient of implied shoulds…the strange inference that we were inextricably tied and I really should have nothing of my own.

And it threw me for a loop. I lost all faith in my own advice or opinions or recommendations…for myself. I lost faith in me and actually took me to bed for a day.

Are you shoulding me? This is bullshould. Don’t should where you eat. I almost should myself. It was a true should hole and I took it up the should shoot. I got should-faced.

Before I took to bed, the should really hit the fan and I lost my should because I believe said should-er doesn’t know her should from shinola. Nobody’s should smells like roses, so stop telling me that I should do should.

Who are we to tell anyone else what they should do? We’ve reached an age…and I hope we’re all trying to get our should together.

This person? Definitely on my should list.

Should happens. But I never wanna shoot the should again.

Should-on-a-stick.