Do take dog to the vet when he itches.
Dogs are far more pleasant when they're far less itchy.
Sometimes underdogs can be the best behaved at the vet.
Do not pet dog while you're canoodling just to get said dog to shut up.
Do not allow dog to create a den for himself on your couch.
Do keep an eagle eye on dog when walking on your street if your street has a middle school where children just drop pretzels all over the sidewalk. A developing nation could be fed from the refuse on my block.
Do brush dog with hair every day.
Do keep dog on the skinny side.
Do keep some fiber in both your and dog's diet.
Do your best to never ever ever witness anal expression. Dog's that is...
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