Tiz and Ass – An Etymological Extravaganza

Tiz – my nickname; a state of frenzied excitement; a word that sounds like tits, of which I have mere pancakes.

And – used as a function word to indicate connection or addition especially of items within the same class or type; used to join sentence elements of the same grammatical rank or function.

Ass – I act like one; I’ve got one…a big one. One that makes up for my short stack. It can sing Glitter and Be Gay. Just ask it. If you’re really nice I’ll find the video and post it. But you have to be realllllllly nice.

Tits and Ass – a song from the musical A Chorus Line, the first Broadway show I ever saw with the Nana. I knew then that flat-as-a-board me would never cosmetically enhance (or unhance) an ounce. I knew then that broad-bottomed me would play on the Broadway.

And as Tommy McCarney* oft said, “Well…no tits, but a great bum.”

Close enough for jazz and I’ll take it where I can get it.

*One of the few proper names I will EVER use (unless you're an artist or an establishment and I think you're fab). Please be kind and nickname. Or after-six name. Or porn-star name. Life's so much easier under the false guise of anonymity.