Not easy not easy not easy
Blerg.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
This Morning of Miss
This morning I miss being on FaceBook. I'm bound to miss ANYTHING I set my mind NOT to do.
Ain't human nature fun? Or at least Tizzy nature?
I miss seeing shining faces. I miss seeing what you're doing. I miss birthdays. I miss quotes. I miss being in the know.
There are specificities of the specific sort I miss which I'm bound to get to later.
However, I know
when I'm ON the Book of Face I'm not kissing your face. I'm not tripping the line fantastic with you. I'm not holding your cake as you blow out your candles. I'm not hearing your voice murmur or scream a quote or joke of the day.
And sometimes a girl can know too much.
This is gonna be a good day.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
FaceBook Fascination
I am fascinated to see who transcends FaceBook in the Land of TiZ. I mean, it's a two-way street, the center line is not clearly defined, the road markings are strange...but there are some fellow travelers I just can't do without...and hopefully vicey versa.
Until either of us feel the need, I'm so hoping you're* tripping the line fantastic.
*I initially typed "your." Hello, Monster.
FB Hiatus Day 2
Have lost 4 pounds. Can return to much beloved skirt of the past.
T&A- Hello, much beloved skirt.
MBS- Oh, look at you. Now I won't have to deal with your ample bum ripping through my seams like Hannibal through the Alps.
T&A- You're welcome. (Muttered) No need to be rude.*
*Unless there is a monster chasing you.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
FB Hiatus Day 1
Things that happened today because I wasn't on the Book of Face...
Well, first of all, I wasn't on the Book of Face.
I ate without looking at my computer.
I drank TaB without looking at my computer.
Because I wasn't looking at my computer, I drank something other than TaB...it was healthy.
I spoke with people in person.
I spoke with people in person ON THE PHONE.
I REALLY worked on a script.
I took a nap.
And...
a monster chased me.
aaaaaaaaaaaah
(*&^%^&^()*(#@$
FYYSCFFWM
?
T plus 2 hours and 14 minutes
There is quite obviously...
a monster chasing me
aaaaaaaaaaaah
(*&^%^&^()*(#@$
FYYSCFFWM
?
Monday, September 12, 2011
T minus 1
Fixing to get ready to go: Two posts regarding my departure. A culling of numbers. Individual messages to a couple of people who for a number of reasons warrant them. Despite the reasoning being different, the letters are pretty darn similar. Despite the democratic approach...
10 home runs.
2 balls
1 ball thrown directly at my head. Luckily I wear a helmet. But ow.
Now, despite the fact I am skipping FaceTown for a while, it doesn't mean I won't be writing about it. This is a huge experiment for me. And from what I'm gleaning, it's gonna be hard. It may drive me back into therapy after a decade. Is my therapist still alive?
I have my Hurricane FaceBook Go Bag packed and at the door.
And plenty of TaB.
Who knows what waits beyond the walls of...oh shit...it's a monster...he's chasing me...aaaaaaaaaaaah
(*&^%^&^()*(#@$
FYYSCFFWM
?
T minus last week
Run into an old friend whom I haven't seen for a variety of reasons that are none of your business. The comments regarding FaceBook and my activities thereon dismaze* me.
*Dismaze- (verb) to disturb and amaze in equalling proportions.
T minus late summer
Spend too much time noodling around on FaceBook, mostly because I'm out of town, but continuing when I return.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Kayak Yaketty Yak
El Guapo and I embarqued on The Annual Hammonasset Kayak Extravaganza today.
It was splendid.
El Guapo was ceremoniously dumped from his kayak.
EG "Goddammit."
T&A "Hey, whatcha doin' in there?"
I grabbed his paddle. He righted his kayak. He float downstream beside it for 15 yards. For the next 15, he piggybacked my kayak as I paddled him safely to shore.*
He dumped the water, climbed back in, had a smoke and paddled along.
And we larfed.
The Best Annual Hammonasset Kayak Extravaganza EVER!
Just in case you think I'm a heartless fuck - I know the date. I don't wish to be near media. I know what this means to me. I don't need the media to give me visual reminders or tell me how I should feel about it. Plus, if there are commercials involved and someone is making money, fuck you.
*Always wear your life jacket. Thank you.
opposition
Without opposition there is no growth. It is hard to argue with that logic. A state in which we are free from problems or constraints is not happiness. Happiness is transcending all opposition and obstacles and continuing to grow.
Daisaku Ikeda, Buddhist Scholar (Thank you, ND)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
What I Wish For You
I wish you had been in Central Park with me at 7:30 this evening.
You didn't even have to be with me. Just there. On the north side of the Great Lawn looking south.
One of those exquisite, gasping reminders of why I've lived in New York for 25 years...
Gawdy, joyous skyscrapers doing what they do best--scraping the sky.
Low lying clouds with sunset illumination in co-dependent palates.
Hullabaloo* lights dancing in those co-dependent clouds.
Heaven in the park.
Wish you'd been there.
*They are, in fact, called ballyhoo. But hullabaloo is better, n'est pas?
Saturday, September 3, 2011
I Suck
For a number of reasons.
But I will not count the ways. I will let you do that.
What I have to say in my defense is that I've been a little ill at ease since being published in far more reputable zines, and by being published outing myself. A certain anonymity is gone. And a certain anonymity is freeing.
I'm sure I'll come up with something for you all. If you all still exist. But I doubt it will be this weekend. This weekend I'm naked for 40 hours straight and easy breezy lemon squeezy.
Free.
See you on the flipside.
Monday, August 15, 2011
I Wonder Why
I am knocked out. Honestly, on my ass. Spent the last couple of days feeling stoned and let me tell you...I ain't stoned.
And then I looked at my work schedule of the last couple of weeks...
Week 1 (which included being thrown on in a show I'd never seen with 5 hours of rehearsal) = 55 hours.
Week 2 = 60 hours.
Week 3 = 55 hours.
Week 4 (wherein there was no day off and we saw Ye Olde Pass Out and Break Face on Bureau Trick. And lest we forget, my period.) = 60 hours.
Don't blame my union. When I arrived in Pittsfield I accepted a freelance job thinking I had oodles of time. Then I double contracted up here. Couldn't pull out of the freelance gig at that point. And Equity has no rules about double contract meal breaks, hours of rest, etc. The powers that be did the best they could with what little me they had.
And I worked out five days out of eight.
I laugh because this was supposed to be my work vacation. Small role, big mountains, huge spirit.
But today I lie in bed, corset-free, listen to the rain, read "Atonement" and drink Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper.
What? No TaB?
I seem to have imbibed all the TaB in the Berkshires. There is no more.
Why does Jesus hate me? Can't he pull a little surreptitious transmogrification for Ye Olde Tizmeister? Just this once?
Slurp.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Faintsville
I passed out at 6 am this morning. This is not a common occurrence for me. Basically, once a decade. So I should be good-to-go until 2020 or so.
Hoo-weeeee!
What caused it? Probably the G.I. distress that ripped 4 pounds off me in less than a minute…quite exciting. What caused the G.I. distress? Could have been the corset I’m sporting for the skit. Could have been a wee pesky ovarian cyst bursting. Or a delightful cocktail of the two.
My 1990s fainting spell coincided with Poppy being given his first stress test. That one and only stress test ended with him in the operating room getting a triple by-pass. When I say coincided I mean I was in Germany while he was in Connecticut. Exact same time. Not that six pm RAPTURE time crap, but proper six-hour-difference-time-zone-time. I think we may have been connected.
Perhaps this morning Poppy was slapping me upside the head wicked hard. I wonder what I’ve done to offend?
And what is the Heaven-Pittsfield time zone difference?
As I lay on the floor for an hour after my face slammed into the bureau in an unceremonious fashion, I bemoaned my fate, “If I was married, there would be someone to pick me up of the floor. If I was married, maybe the poor sod would have even helped me off the can so I never would have passed out at all!”
I went through a similar self-pitying monologue about a decade ago when I choked on a piece of chicken. That was the fainting spell of the aughts...after self-heimliching on the third-floor banister of my building. (I got cheers from the ER attendants, “How wise of you not to die!”)
Ten years ago, I was in desperate need of Henry Heimlich Husband at 4:30 in the afternoon. No husband of mine would have been home at that hour anyway. And this morning? Well, right now I’m cohabitating with six other people. SIX! Not a one heard the mighty oak topple. If I was married, Freddy Faint Fiance wouldn’t have heard it either.
So, I sit in bed. A little creaky. A fat lip. A gash in my nose. Icing all with frosty cans of TaB.
I'm pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be this way, but it is and I’m not going to involve myself in THAT monologue. I’d rather drink the beloved TaB, meditate and watch a wee bit of Izzard.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
