TiZ and AsS

CT

2012-01-27T01:11:00.003-05:00

has to write this like a FB status update because first person singular and owning it would be too much to bear.

You know the world has become quite intimate when one of CT's local homeless people is tucked away in his blanket in the subway station, wishes her goodnight like a sleepy child and she looks him in the eye and responds, "Good night, sweetheart."

Everyone was someone's sweetheart in some way, shape or form at some time.

A good thing to remember.

And CT remembers a dear old beau who yelled at the guy pissing on their steps, and then took him in, let him shower and washed his clothes.

Everyone deserves clean clothes.

And sometimes this is all too much to bear. And CT has shin splints. Which is nothing compared to sleeping in a blanket in the subway station.

BC3

2012-01-26T10:00:00.002-05:00

I obviously can't do math, because yesterday was BD-6.

BD-5 is where I learn not to throw crap on the floor. Honestly, I live my life throwing everything on the floor. It runs the gamut from dirty underwear to mail to purses to change to curling irons.

Baxter is beautifully trained (despite the poor pee aim) and respectful, but...you know...

A dog's a dog.

And I've waited sooooooooo long for one, I'm cleaning as if my mother-in-law were coming for a visit.

If I had a mother-in-law.

And had to wear the cone of shame.

The Baxter Chronicles 2

2012-01-25T08:54:00.002-05:00

Adoption forges ahead. We went for a walk yesterday. He tolerated the harness (something he'd earlier refused), and a jaunty little sports jacket (never did I think I'd be dressing a dog). Not a sign of lack of socialization. Doggy kisses. As always, sat in my lap, but this time facing me instead of the back-turned "I love her but I'm facing out so I can get the fuck out" version. Friendly with everyone. His pee aim is a little off but I guess mine would be too if I had my nuts removed.

If I had nuts.

And had to wear the cone of shame.

BD-7.

The Baxter Chronicles 1

2012-01-23T23:04:00.002-05:00

Oh yeah…I’m trying to adopt Baxter from the Humane Society. We met before he was even in the system.

Due date = January 31.

He is delicious…

And initially believed quite perfect by all who met him.

And then he had a bad day. Not with me. Someone else. We've only had one bad moment. For which we both apologized profusely. As with any friendship, issues must be addressed immediately. And Bill the Behaviorist helped me learn how best to expedite that…in both species.

We’re having our third real visit tomorrow. He’s been neutered, shaved (bye bye matts), and had his nails clipped. We’re gonna see if we can get through a day without having to apologize.

Woof us luck.

2012-01-16T19:57:00.001-05:00

"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."

--Martin Luther King, Jr.

On the Oops Day of Christ*&^%$

2012-01-04T09:48:00.002-05:00

On the Oops Day of Christ*&^*%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I did two repeats, so...

Two more things you may not know about me...

I was proudly published twice this year.

I have only purchased 6 pieces of furniture my entire life. One of them was used. The rest are gifts, hand-me-downs or dumpster delights.

New Year's 3

2012-01-03T11:05:00.000-05:00

I see you.

GO!

New Year's Day

2012-01-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

You are loving.

You love.

And

You are loved.

Ready, set...GO!

The New Year's Day Poem

2012-01-01T05:00:00.001-05:00

Choose Life over the other stuff. Get out of your head. Live. Dress up. Eat. Touch people. Help out. Give up. Love people. Give your best away. There's more. What's the problem? Relax. You're going to die. Throw a party. Eat off my plate. Sing to me. Meet me in the bedroom. Get a massage. Give one. Let your amazement out into the room. Pry open the box you hide your joy in. Be

poem.

-John Patrick Shanley

On the Thirty-First Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-31T09:31:00.003-05:00

On the Thirty-First Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Thirty-one things she would dig in a deep way for 2012...*

Peace on earth.

Goodwill to all sentient beings.

Going on for the quinfucta.

A healthier economy for all.

A re-elected Obama.

A little cupcake of a cottage upstate.

A good solid apology.

Ease.

Grace.

A good, solid, considered apology.

To publish more.

To gain even more of you appreciative bleaders.**

To finally finish and perform TOMB.

More volunteerism.

Looooooooooooooooooooooooove.

More recording. I love recording.

Health...physical, emotional and spiritual.

More yoga.

Getting back to my seat and meditating.

Fabulous attendance at the St. Jimmy.

More honesty. 2011 was a great start.

More clarity. 2011 was a great start.

For dreams to come true for those who desire them wholeheartedly.

To handle the estate with little complication and great joy.

Laughter.

Singing my tits off.

Less spam.

More reiki.

Take a pottery class.

Teach more voice.

Create things of great beauty and substance.

*I looked back through the years. A LOT of these have come true. Really.

**And I DO appreciate you. You can't imagine how much...

On the Thirtieth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-30T10:04:00.001-05:00

On the Thirtieth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Thirty lessons learned (or-relearned) this year...

To stop caring what others think of me.

You only get one set of parents. If you love them, show it.

People who are willing to send cards to an old lady they may never've met are good people to have around.

If I do my job with creativity and specificity, I don't have to ask for permission.

Truth is subjective.

No matter how much I want people to see my truth, sometimes they just can't....and vicey versey.

There is such a thing as too much TaB.

Grief drinking helps for a while if you don't have a drinking problem.

If I have to say "sorry" to the point I resent it, it may be a lost cause.

Secrets kept for many years may be best kept 'til death.

If you don't thank me for a professional favor, I'll resent it and not grant one again.

Always thank people.

Asking for help is a good thing...not a weakness.

My past doesn't define me.

Compromise is not the "c" word.

It is really important to give back.

Gifts can come from the least likely places. I must keep my eyes and heart open.

Most everyone deserves a second chance...unless you're Charles Manson.

The most delicious things can manifest from accidents.

People always tell me exactly who they are and their relationship with me will not be the exception to any rule.

It's delicious to find a friendship with an ex.

If I play too hard for too long I will catch a cold.

I like money.

I have held myself back for others' sakes.

Spending too much time in the comfort zone makes a person uncomfortable.

People are way nice to you when they think you're successful.

It's never too late to learn.

Don't downtalk myself.

What I previously thought was impossible is quite possible.

On the Twenty-Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-29T09:16:00.002-05:00

On the Twenty-Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-Nine game changers of the year...

My mom died.

I sang at her funeral. (Okay...technically it was a memorial mass because her body wasn't there.)

I was put into a show I'd never seen or heard with five hours of rehearsal.

I stood up for myself with management.

I recorded with Alan Menken.

I took a seminar on producing.

A well-known producer said I could trail her.

I did a full-blown reading of my own play.

I received a grant to continue working on my own play.

I duetted with a long-admired and long-loved friend.

I broke up with a perfectly lovely man because he lacked curiosity and a passion for living.

I got permission from my dear superintendent to buy a DOG!

I said goodbye to a beloved friend.

I did more charitable work than ever before.

I took a FaceBook hiatus.

99% of the time I asked for help I got it.

My apartment was renovated.

I bought another air-conditioner.

I threw/gave away about 1/3 of my belongings.

I worked and played with idols of mine.

People were kind beyond measure.

I bid adieu to a bit of my ego.

I was highly valued as an artist and my brain wasn't taken as a hindrance.

I had access to a bathtub everywhere I lived.

I overworked myself 'til I passed out.

I commuted and slept in an ICU barcalounger.

I attended the Headless Horseman Haunted Halloween Hayride.

I held someone in his 19th-20th hour of life.

I'm in a Broadway show that I love.

On the Twenty-Eighth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-28T11:25:00.003-05:00

On the Twenty-Eighth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

28 more things about NanaPop.

I think they were happier as grandparents.

When my nephew was born, they became one entity, "NanaPop," to us all.

They were adamant about stories being told properly and would correct each other in public.

It could get bloody.

They did not go to sleep without discussing bad feelings.

My father used a flashlight to dress early in the morning so he wouldn't awaken my mother.

He liked to get up at 5 am.

She did not.

He fancied himself a plumber. He was not.

He wore a pair of shoes for thirty years. Just got them re-soled. They were exquisite.

He is the Patron Saint of foot care...his were always baby soft.

My mother's feet looked like they had gone through a blender...try though she did.

Nana got her hair done every two weeks for most of her life.

My father used olive oil as a conditioner.

I can count on my fingers the number of nights they slept apart (other than hospital stays) during their 55 years of marriage.

Most of their married life was spent in a full-size bed. I thought it was HUUUUUUUUUGE.

My father knew where the second Pentagon was.

My mother knew where everything else was.

My father saved every piece of paper.

My mother saved everything else.

My father was IN the first computer (like a huge warehouse). He later marveled that it all fit into an iPod.

My mother was a computer.

My mother had GLORIOUS skin.

My father, who was prejudiced about people who had skin problems, later developed a condition.

They both looked much younger than they were.

They both had open heart surgery.

They both lost both their parents by the time they were 45.

They both loved us all wicked hard.

On the Twenty-Seventh Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-27T08:39:00.002-05:00

On the Twenty-Seventh Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-seven things you might not know about the Poppy...

He was born in Brooklyn.

He helped shovel coal as a kid for a job before school. Fell asleep in someone's coal bin.

He got left behind in Kindergarten.

His Dad died when he was 16. He hated the wake so much (methinks it was in his house with the body there) that neither he nor the Nana had wakes.

He grew up two doors away from the Nana.

He served on Saipan during WWII.

He was a Sergeant in the Army Air Corp...a mechanic.

He was part of the clean-up crew for Suicide Hill.

He got his college degree through the GI Bill. Slept two hours at a time in order to get everything done.

The day after his and Nana's first date there was a huge snowstorm. I have that pic of the two of them.

Until he died he could still remember songs taught to him in music appreciation class when he was little.

He was heartbreakingly compassionate.

When he was angry he spoke very very softly. Soooooooo scary.

He was an animal whisperer. I once witnessed a chipmunk eat from his hand.

He was an electrical engineer...sales.

When we'd come into the city, he'd point out Lincoln and Rockefeller Centers and say, "Mine." I thought we owned them. Nope. He had bid and won the contracts for the HVAC.

He was an autodidactic efficiency expert.

Catholic.

Loved his mother deeply despite the fact she was remarkably unloveable.

A truly "off " sense of humor.

Danced to the beat of a drummer no one ever heard before...kind of glorious to watch.

Once called my stage manager at Beauty and the Beast to ask if I could play Belle in L.A. for my adopted grandparents' 70-something anniversary. (I was mortified.)

Had a beyoooootiful singing voice.

He was great at investing. Really great. A marvelous method he imparted to me.

Adopted more than one of my girlfriends.

He could talk to most anyone about most anything.

On the Twenty-Sixth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-26T10:30:00.004-05:00

On the Twenty-Sixth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Twenty-six things about the Nana...

She was born in Nanticoke, Pennsylvania but moved to Sheepshead Bay when she was 5.

Her parents were 16 and 19 when she was born.

She graduated high school at 16.

She got a perfect score on her Regents.

She attended Hunter until she was old enough to attend nursing school.

The ships carrying sailors coming home from war passed by her hospital. She could hear them as they saw first saw the Statue of Liberty and cheered. She cried every time.

She was very popular and had lots of boyfriends.

She was a much sought after dance partner.

She had five kids.

She really only expected four.

Her longest labor was four hours.

Her shortest labor was two.

When I came around, they decided to induce me because they were pretty sure she was just gonna drop me on the sidewalk.

She had no recollection of the time of my birth. All she could say was, "Dinnertime-ish. I felt terrible because we took the doctor away from a dinner party."

Before I was born she would pound at least 20 cups of coffee a day.

When I knew her it was tea and gum.

She was quite stylish.

She was very opinionated and had little filter on what she felt about you and what came out of her mouth.

Best sitting still hand-holder ever.

She could hold a grudge like no one I knew.

She had an underground sense of humor.

She could stomp you into oblivion on a game of Trivial Pursuit.

Her nickname was minutae mind.

I only remember her crying once when I was a child. That was when her brother died when she was 49...and she felt like an orphan.

She was the only person who recognized exactly how hard I work and have always worked.

On the Twenty-Fifth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-25T07:36:00.001-05:00

My
Expression
Runs
Round
You,

Clawing
Happily,
Running
Inward,
Shouting
Tiz
My
Ass,
Sunshine.

How
Are
Pen
Pals,
Year-end?

Now
Enter
World.

Your
Everything
Aims
Rightly.

On the Twenty-Fourth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-23T23:40:00.003-05:00

On the Twenty-Fourth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

The more I write I'm a mess, the messier I become.

I so appreciate the people who can deal with the mess but not feed it.

My job is saving my life.

I have a softball and a softball glove, but no one to have a throw with.

I LOVE a good throw.

I'm not good enough to be on the Broadway softball league.

I am terrible at bat.

If I can, I open the window, go gas out it, then close the window.

There's nothing better than hugging while sitting in a lap.

I don't understand people who get what they want but then complain about the person who made it happen. Is it empowering?

i don't know why golf exists.

I can't imagine watching it live or on tv.

Try though I might, I read too many horoscopes.

I think Jesus must have been a very nice man.

I'm so tired recently I fall asleep while sitting up.

This is one of my fav stage management teams ever. And that's saying a lot.

I think yams are super delicious.

I wish for us all that we find our way more graciously and with greater ease.

At 12, I hit my back while doing back dives off the side of the pool.

I couldn't feel my legs for 5 minutes

My back still seizes up.

I was mugged immediately following my parents' 50th wedding anniversary brunch.

I didn't tell them until they could see me in the flesh.

My head is a shape-shifter too.

On the Twenty-Third Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-23T06:35:00.000-05:00

On the Twenty-Third Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

In any economy I am offended by people who don't do their jobs well.

In this particular economy, I find it an almost mortal sin.

I'm beginning to like Christmas.

I haven't turned off the lights on my Christmas tree since I set it up.

I am personally insuring the energy crisis.

Although I unplug and turn off most everything else when not in use.

I'm watching someone else's karma in action and I find very little more painful than that.

I have my front of house display photos from BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.

I dig the Buddha.

I learned recently there are different ways of stealing...none of them resonate well with me.

I did not share my Christmas pears with ANYONE.

I am ridiculously broken at the moment. But I have to believe it's letting the light shine through a little more clearly.

I have a corner of my apartment that houses things that belonged to people I love who have passed.

The cookie jar from my childhood home will be joining soon.

My Christmas tree lives next to my Buddha statue.

My Buddha statue is absolutely gorgeous.

It was seen by a friend in a storefront in Northport. I entered and the shop owner looked at me and said, "You've come for the Buddha."

Holy water from Lourdes as well as crystals and a beautifully vibratory rock from like the River Jordan live nearby.

My kitchen showcases a Bob's Big Boy Bobblehead.

Pope Soap on a Rope too.

There's a Jellystone Park plate as well.

Nothing makes me happier than sitting in the pit with the band.

I recently wore my winter bedtime panties during the day. Naughty or nice?

On the Twenty-Second Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-22T10:40:00.002-05:00

On the Twenty-Second Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

Given the opportunity I would dance every night.

I love social dancing but don't much care for dancing onstage.

My mother always begged me not to dance in public.

Lord help you (and me) if there is a pole around and/or stairs with a bannister.

I receive a yearly Holiday Omen.

This year mine was given away...which means, I guess, that my Omen is to let go.

A friend abandoned his Omen. I rescued it...which means, I guess, that my Omen will be rescue.

The Omen was broken black magic...which means, I guess, my run of bad luck will be over.

I hang out with a group of guys from College.

They make me feel quite special and appreciated...and a little bit lady-like...no matter how inappropriately I behave.

We chose one another.

I am the proud owner of a vintage TaB bottle.

I am the proud owner of a vintage TaB glass.

I cherish them both.

I spent my early thirties playing fairy tale princesses.

I am the least likely candidate to portray a fairy tale princess.

I have inappropriate pix of me as every fairy tale princess I've played.

I keep typo-ing farty tale princess.

I love fantastic and appropriate typos.

Sometimes I sport the last hair clip my mother wore when she was hospitalized.

I am flexible...physically, emotionally, spiritually and cognitively.

I am pretty capable of seeing things your way.

On the Twenty-First Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-21T07:13:00.000-05:00

On the Twenty-First Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

This is getting exceedingly difficult...

I've had three German Shepherds.

I am REALLY allergic to cats.

I think cats are kinda rude.

There was one cat I liked and to whom I wasn't allergic. He was an outdoor cat.

This cat and I would fall asleep paw in hand. Indoors.

I am fearless with accents.

I'm pretty sure I've brushed most of the enamel off my teeth. Oops.

I sweat like a pig.

I have to use clinical strength deodorants when I perform.

And dress pads.

I appreciate open minds.

I ask "why" a lot.

I ask "how" a lot.

My nephew creates a Christmas Pageant each year that is both heartbreaking and heartening.

I love fudge.

I love beautiful hankies.

A rare steak is the bee's knees.

I can and do eat a jar of peanut butter in a sitting.

I wear less make-up as I age.

I used to go by Chris and Chrissy.

I will kick in the shins if you call me Chris and Chrissy now.

On the Twentieth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-20T10:42:00.002-05:00

On the Twentieth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

My super Super said I could have a dog.

I'm gonna get a DOG!

I may name the dog Pooper. Is that wrong?

I see nothing wrong with buying my dinner at Duane Reade when exhausted.

I see nothing wrong with buying my Christmas tree at Duane Reade when exhausted.

I decided it was time when someone wrote they would do it for me and yet I can find no trace of that email and the gentle donor was going by a goddess alias so I may have dreamt it which meant it was time to get the freaking tree.

I see nothing wrong with run-on sentences.

I decorate my tree with ornaments from my nephews and brother...and costume jewelry...and sparkly rosary beads.

I wear specific panties to bed in the winter. They are called "winter bedtime panties."

We're doing Yankee Grab Bag for Christmas this year and I'm hoping the present I'm offering up will cause bloodshed.

I am an awful Secret Santa.

I have my first real rehearsal today and I'm doing this instead of studying. So I understudy 5 different tracks. Meh...

I was gonna buy an iPad but I think a dog is better.

I have plans every night after the show this week and that is a little daunting.

I worked with kids from the Harvey Milk High School this year. They were awesome.

I've left my air conditioners in this year as the fact that even while turned off they seemingly help regulate the heat up here on the top floor. It can become a sauna.

I like to sleep near a Christmas tree that is aglow.

I like to give people things that have belonged to me.

I like it when people give me things that have belonged to them.

I am wearing my mothers socks today.

On the Nineteenth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-19T17:19:00.003-05:00

On the Nineteenth Day of Christ*&^%$

Going through your late mom's clothing (for donation purposes) is not for sissies.

Sometimes I just have to turn off my heart.

When I turn off my heart, it inevitably comes screaming back on, flooding the room.

I think Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream is miraculous.

I use it for anything.

I am capable of performing minor surgery on myself.

I have double a feet with quadruple a heels.

I once sliced my foot open and taped it back together for a date.

I once broke my foot and didn't know it.

I can walk most anything off.

I think it's not because I ignore the pain, but because I accept it.

I am rarely ill.

I actually took 8 tops, 2 pairs of pants and 6 pairs of shoes from the excavation.

I will be wearing my 88 year old mother's clothes. She had excellent taste.

Except for the sweatshirts with flowers. Oy.

I have a 750 square foot apartment for less than $2 a square foot per month.

I call it my mountain aerie rabbit warren.

I JUST unpacked my winter coat.

I believe diamonds are the new neutral.

On the Eighteenth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-18T08:18:00.005-05:00

On the Eighteenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I never sleep through alarms.

Today I slept through an alarm.

I'm decent at performing minor surgery on myself.

I think breakfast for dinner and vice versa is a perfectly plausible way to go through life.

I'm so tired I didn't realize I forgot to go to a party until I was in bed already.

Was there a productive era? 'Cause I think I was born in it.

I like it when people write in. Rick is very good at it this season.

I spend as much time as possible outside. Even when it's bitter cold.

I haven't had enough time to unpack my winter duds. I'm currently sporting the layered look.

It's amazing how people fill in when they see an opening.

I appreciate the friends who stepped up when my Mom died.

I appreciate the strangers who stepped up when my Mom died.

I appreciate the estrangers who stepped up when my Mom died.

I appreciate my employers who stepped up when my Mom died.

I was recently bought off with a gorgeous bouquet of roses.

I LOVE roses.

I LOVE orchids too.

I dare someone to buy me off with orchids.

On the Seventeenth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-17T10:10:00.003-05:00

On the Seventeenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I fear these have grown boring and commonplace.

I look back at the reveals of the first year and am jealous of my own ballsiness.

I am not keen on verbal abbreviations of words. No "totes," "opes," or "avail" leave my lips.

I feel no need to be perceived as cool.

I rarely feel the need to prove how smart I am. Or not. That's my business.

I do believe there are stupid questions. Okay...maybe not stupid. Thoughtless?

Selfish questions make me want to jam chopsticks in my ears.

My stomach never makes it through the holiday season unscathed.

I wish someone would get me a Christmas tree and decorate it with my ornaments while I'm at work.

I spent more money on beautification this past opening week than I have in...well...two whole years.

I don't understand why some people send me Facebook invites to events out of town. Do you think I care? Really? Do you need my attention? Really? If I haven't seen you in 25 years...

I am absolutely sick that I am missing the Mike Errico Annual Holiday Show this Wednesday the 21st at Rockwood Hall at 7:30. You go!

I freaking love making this much money.

Historically, every five years I make windfall paychecks that carry me through...

This was the sixth year. My belt was tight...

I believe any review that mentions Kristin Chenoweth when she is not actually in the show is a lazy review.

I despise lazy.

On the Sixteenth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-16T10:34:00.002-05:00

On the Sixteenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I'm a two drink and a hangover kinda gal.

To try and sidestep a hangover I toddle up Fifth Avenue until I'm more sober.

When I throw away a picture I feel like I'm killing the person.

I have always and will always fit better into costumes built for other people than those built for my own body.

I have so many moles on my back it looks like the solar system. (Gee, look. O'Ryan's belt.)

I worked for the Skin Cancer Foundation when I moved to NY.

I no longer tan.

I have very few wrinkles.

Yet that is not a scar on my nose. That is a worry line.

I have had a worry line across the top of my nose since I was 5.

I worried a lot as a kid.

I got picked up by heavy winds during a rainstorm as a kid and blown into some bushes.

I don't like the rain.

I think people who walk around NY with golf umbrellas should be spanked.

I think if you are so big that you need a golf umbrella to stay dry, perhaps you should rethink your eating and exercise habits.

My doctors have forbidden me from gaining weight.

On the Fifteenth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-15T10:10:00.002-05:00

On the Fifteenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I didn't say the C word for 42 years. Couldn't bear to hear it. I'm okay with it now...although I use it sparingly.

I hesitate to use it in my blog. Does it count with a K?

I'm not a holiday person. Especially New Years. I'm happy 36whatever days a year...don't force it on me.

Crowds freak me the fuck out.

I don't make yearly resolutions. I kinda do it by the minute.

Art from friends is my fav.

I've spent maybe 2 hours in my living room in the past 2 months. Might as well rent it.

I am the human equivalent of playdough.

I'm allergic to a lot of scented candles.

I love candles.

I talked to my mom through a candle for a while. You should have seen it when I talked about the slutty slutty Halloween costumes I was seeing. Flickered like crazy. She always hated slutty slutty Halloween costumes.

I wonder why women feel the need to wear slutty slutty Halloween costumes.

Maybe we should rename it Slutoween.

I like being treated to dinner.

On the Fourteenth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-14T10:18:00.002-05:00

On the Fourteenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

They just bought me $600 Stuart Weitzman boots at work. I think we're running.

I like $600 Stuart Weitzman boots.

I cannot tell a lie.

That's a lie...but I hate lying.

I will only lie if I truly think the truth is none of your freaking business.

I barely watch tv.

I sleep with my computer.

Despite the constant weeping, I haven't been this happy in years.

I kinda sorta only clean my apartments for guests.

When guests cancel, I'm rarely unhappy because...I have a clean apartment to myself.

I never did well on standardized testing.

I got into Yale through the backdoor.

I want my money back from Manhattan School of Music.

I am at my best as an autodidact.

On the Thirteenth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-13T09:57:00.002-05:00

On the Thirteenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

This is my late daddy's birthday.

I'm a growed up orphan.

I have given away most of my books.

I only keep the books I haven't read or may read again.

I love to read but find it difficult recently.

I love a good nap and plan on taking one today.

I may want to be a producer. It's been noodling around in my noggin for a while. Or an astronaut. Or fireman.

I love my apartment and am careful whose energy I let on in. It's my safe place.

I like to hang on the fire escape at work. It makes me feel like I'm in a sitcom. And it's just plain outdoors...not a common feeling in the theater.

I like the outdoors.

I have a giant black bra hanging in my bedroom. It represents abundance.

I'm a pretty good stock investor.

My late daddy taught me how. Today is his birthday.

On the Twelfth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-12T12:22:00.002-05:00

On the Twelfth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I hate crowds.

I am a sensory defensive. Completely implode.

I self-nurture with hot baths and peanut butter.

If I don't get enough time to myself...again...I completely implode.

Implosion on the way.

I love glamming it up. Rarely get to do it.

I love good champagne.

I have stinky feet.

I believe my Goddess Kali lunchbox makes a perfect evening purse.

I'm supposedly a kinder person now.

I like making a lot of money.

My bed is my friend.

On the Eleventh Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-11T10:17:00.000-05:00

On the Eleventh Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

This is my first Broadway opening in a loooooooooong time.

I own many cocktail dresses.

I own more gowns.

I have a pair of grown up "Dorothy" shoes that make everything right with the world.

I didn't know my hair was curly curly.

Try though I might, I can't hold a grudge.

I still have a high F.

I have a performance low D.

I have encounters with ghosts.

Encounters with ghosts scare the crap out of me.

They are usually bangy ghosts.

On the Tenth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-10T09:08:00.001-05:00

On the Tenth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

When they serve the glass of wine with its little sidecar (the wee carafe), I inevitably drink too much.

I enjoy silent taebo in the dark.

For years I had a trunk and all my traveling cases as useful storage art in my bedroom.

A trunk and traveling cases in one's bedroom send a counter-productive message to the universe for a single girl.

I like books about witchcraft (and in fact took a course on the history of it at Yale).

I inherited some absolutely gorgeous jewelry that has an exquisite history.

I have Paul Bunyon-sized bunions.

I like a French pedicure. Makes me feel like I have four hands.

Contrary to popular opinion, I do not memorize easily.

To memorize, I have to write the lines out over and over again...that way it becomes cellular.

Dear Mr. Podoretz*

2011-12-09T23:26:00.005-05:00

I am writing this to you and I hope that you will read it so you'll know...

That I can't figure out what show you saw. But it's certainly not the one I'm in.

The show I'm in is about two men who have lost their way...one when faced with the love of his life. One when faced with the loss of the love of his life. Together they find their way. It doesn't have a political bone in its lovely music theater body.

To have posted your "story" when you did, you must have seen it while changes were still going in--I don't care if you paid full price for the ticket--that was ungentlemanly and unsportsmanlike.

Or did you write your "story" in an hour? That would at least explain all the errors.

Okey dokey. I just thought you should know.

P.S. We all pine for Harry, bro.

*Yes. I'm aware I misspelled your name. A little TiZ for TaT.

On the Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-09T07:49:00.003-05:00

On the Ninth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I love presents.

I love presence.

My apartment was renovated this Spring...for free.

My apartment renovation that was supposed to last five days, lasted four weeks. I was cranky.

There was a time in my life when all I had to do was admire something that belonged to someone else and they would just give it to me.

I used that gift judiciously.

I'm pretty judgmental.

I'm working on it.

I recently learned that when a person says, "I don't like to think of myself as _____, they probably, most certainly, are _______." You can't work on it until you know it, right?

On the Eight Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-08T08:09:00.000-05:00

On the Eight Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I reiki babies. Talk about an amazing feeling.

When stressed I get terrible exzema...like halfway down my face. That's one of the reasons I wear bangs.

My forehead is so high, it's a fivehead. That's the other reason I wear bangs.

When stressed I can get some incredibly disgusting cold sores.

When stressed my blood pressure can drop low...really low. It could win a limbo contest.

I'm learning to remember to reiki myself when stressed.

I walk around this world pretty unprotected.

I take care of myself by taking care of others.

On the Seventh Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-07T08:03:00.002-05:00

On the Seventh Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I fucked up by not having kids.

I worry about who will wipe my ass when I am old and infirm.

My dressing room is on the 7th floor. My ass looks great for almost 50.

Swinging is screwing with my creative source, so I make sure I create every day now.

I cleaned my apartment this last Spring and threw out/gave away ten hefties of shite.

My job makes me feel like skilled labor as opposed to an artist.

I'm feeding my belly not my soul...it's all good. A full belly is a good thing.

On the Sixth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-06T07:50:00.002-05:00

On the Sixth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I passed out this summer.

My face hitting the bureau woke me up.

I was doing two shows at once...and online research.

I drink more now.

I have a best friend.

I own my first pair of show slippers. They are very important.

On the Fifth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-05T07:46:00.001-05:00

On the Fifth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you

I sang at my mom's funeral.

I sang well.

I have ridiculously skinny feet that bring tears to the eyes of professional cobblers.

I think I'm going through menopause.

I forgot to pause this summer and worked myself to the point of exhaustion.

On the Fourth Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-04T07:42:00.001-05:00

On the Fourth Day of Christ*&^%$, TiZ reveals to you...

I recently accidentally did audio porn. Listen.

I get paid to watch Eddie Izzard videos.

I did improv with Kristen Wiig.

I own a wig.

On the Third Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-03T08:07:00.001-05:00

On the Third Day of Christ*&^%$ TiZ reveals to you...

People like to tell me their secret stuff.

Sometimes they regret it and resent me for it.

I often wish people wouldn't tell me their secret stuff.

12 Days of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-02T11:34:00.001-05:00

Where it all started and why...

(just in case you were wondering)

On the Second Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-02T08:05:00.000-05:00

On the Second Day of Christ*&^%$ TiZ reveals to you...

This is my first Broadway show in 13 years.

I turned down a Broadway show 6 years ago. I never regretted it.

On the First Day of Christ*&^%$

2011-12-01T10:09:00.001-05:00

On the First Day of Christ*&^%$ TiZ reveals to you...

If I thought last year was freakin' daunting, I can't figure out how I got through THIS year. (Maybe you'll tell me.)

a few more kindnesses

2011-11-22T09:35:00.004-05:00

Homemade jams...lots of it.

Homemade lemon cookies and banana bread muffins...all gluten free...lots of 'em.

A 7th floor dressing room to help work off the grief diet.

Le Petit Prince.

Surprise gifts and visits from wonderful colleagues of yesteryear.

A great paycheck that is making the retail therapy possible.

And this is a longer one. One of my mother's final wishes was that she be cremated in scrubs. (As I said, the nurses treated their waning compatriot with great love and respect.) My nephew bought the scrubs. Before they were put on the Nana, my sister-in-law washed them...so they would be soft.

PS

2011-11-17T11:22:00.002-05:00

Not to worry. My posts will get perky jerky again soon. Just not yet.

But stick with me until then. It's sure to get bitter before it gets better.

word

2011-11-17T11:20:00.001-05:00

of warning to those who have not yet joined "The Dead Parent Club."

Although it is doable, I don't recommend it.

I have yet to find an upside.

It, in a word, sucks.

That's all.

a first

2011-11-13T09:48:00.002-05:00

Now, I know, I KNOW I'm only an offstage cover, but my show had its first preview last night.

And traditionally, before the first performance, I'd get a phone call from the Nana wishing me luck or break a leg (but not really). Or the post show review tell-alll would happen.

Neither.

It's the little things that just fucking rip your heart out and stretch it to the point of irretrievability.

But then I emailed my ob/gyn (you know...the singing one who loved PRISCILLA) and I felt a wee bit better.

It's the little things...

and more...

2011-11-12T10:05:00.003-05:00

The incredible field hockey player from high school (that this drama geek never hung out with) who offered to pick me up and drive me anywhere during Nana's hospitalization.

The gentle barrage of "what do you need."

Nana letting me fuss over her...in my way. I am by nature not a fusser.

Nurses remembering to keep Nana's feet uncovered.

Strangers to Nana who sent her presents.

Journey juju.

Candle communication.

Stage manager offering to man my phone as we thought we were coming towards the end.

Bereavement day do-overs.

People respecting my wish not to be hugged or fussed over. I freakin' hate booboo face.

Chiropractic cries.

Nana's clarity over bequeathments. Damn, did that save additional heartache.

A beautiful photo album from a beautiful friend.

Having to rehearse for a missing colleague the day after Nana's death. Amazing how the juxtaposition of such events made everything fall into place and still make no sense. Enlightening.

more kindnesses

2011-11-10T10:44:00.002-05:00

The lovely EMT who instructed me to tell every health professional Nana came in contact with that she had been an RN. She would get special treatment that way. And they would also know she would be a terrible patient because she wouldn't want to trouble anyone.

Health professionals speaking to Nana with equality and respect...and at times awe.

Blankets and pillows for my barcalounger.

Hand-holding.

Frank conversations (as if I ever have anything but).

The ridiculously joyous dialysis technician reminiscent of Hank Azaria in "The Bird Cage."

Gentle, enlightened responses to emails and texts intended for others. (Oh, this happened more than once.)

i don't know how to write this

2011-11-09T11:01:00.003-05:00

not because it's unwritable...but because I'm in tech and supposed to be in the theater from noon to midnight. We don't have internet connection there...I feel a bit like Laura Ingalls...Little Dressing Room on the Prairie.

But I want to list some kindnesses...and I'm going to start now and post them as they come to me.

The nice lady who drove me from the Shoreline East train stop to emergency care.

The nice EMT who said, "Yes, this is one of the times you should stay with your mother in the I.C.U. They won't mind."

DLC's beautiful "Old Friends"--the only music Nana liked her first night in the I.C.U. (Truth be told I skipped over Where've You Been.)

Catered lunches.

A stage manager wise and wonderful enough to let me go a little early a few days a week so I could more easily do overnights in New Haven.

Candy at rehearsals.

cards. Cards. CARDS!!!!

i don't know how to write this

2011-11-02T10:03:00.003-04:00

because it feels almost unwritable. i can say it. i've been saying it for two weeks. it's the writing...

my mom died.

dreams

2011-10-29T11:34:00.002-04:00

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time.

~Calvin & Hobbes

FB Hiatus Day 2*&^%&^GGYU^&TFGH screw it

2011-10-03T07:46:00.002-04:00

I have my first rehearsal for ON A CLEAR DAY YOU CAN SEE FOREVER.

My mommy is very sick.

And as Dr. Bonnachoven said in ROMAN HOLIDAY, "The best thing I know is to do exactly what you wish for a while."

And that's what I'm gonna do...exactly what I wish.

Thank you for playing FaceBook Hiatus.

FB Hiatus Day 20

2011-10-02T11:05:00.002-04:00

Such Kindnesses. Kindnesses Everywhere.

Surrender.

Action.

Holding Ground.

Intellectual Generosity.

And some spanky new togs.

FB Hiatus Day 18

2011-09-30T15:44:00.003-04:00

I missed Day 17. Yup.

Essen Sie mich.

FB Hiatus Day 16

2011-09-28T19:56:00.004-04:00

Today was a day of keeping my eyes on my own plate. No good comes from looking at other people's and realizing they're dining on chateau briand while you're chowing down on franks and beans.

And anyway, I always did like franks and beans.

Those beans are good for your heart, dontcha know.

Great News!

2011-09-28T09:50:00.002-04:00

I may be eligible to receive a power chair or scooter at little to no cost.

From The Scooter Store.

They just let me know...via email.

HOW LUCKY AM I?

FB Hiatus Day 15

2011-09-27T14:00:00.002-04:00

So, there was another reason I took a High-atus. A reason known only to me.

And now you.

I always swore I got work from the Book of Face. Swore. And I think I initially did. I know a commercial came from it. And some auditions.

But then it stopped. It stopped when it became crowded and commonplace and copious.

So I swore to myself, "Self, you will stop with these self-involved "love me" shenanigans until you have found a really good job."

I auditioned on Day 6. Heard I booked it Day 7. Offer in on Day 9. Deal down on Day 14.

It's going to be the hardest job I've ever had. And I'm REALLY looking forward to it.

I love a good challenge.

Bring. It. On.

Is This What It's Really Like?

2011-09-26T14:05:00.002-04:00

The New and Improved JungleBook.

Or you can send this to the disgruntled masses.

FB Hiatus Day 14

2011-09-26T09:05:00.002-04:00

I still miss the quirky, intelligent, honest updates of the personable princess palace, even though she surreptitiously sends them to me. It's such a dirty little fix.

EdBook reminded me that I miss birthdays. I miss HAPPY HAPPIES!

I miss the poetry of JPS, King of FaceBook.

I miss beautiful photographs taken by beautiful people.

I miss the rants of many.

But it sounds like it's a jungle out there.

If you want to see something of great beauty, watch Bill Cunningham New York. It broke my heart into wee soft pieces in all the best ways.

FB Hiatus Day 13

2011-09-25T15:34:00.001-04:00

Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

--Winston Churchill

FB Hiatus Day 12

2011-09-24T23:44:00.001-04:00

Don’t try to predict me. You’ll just be wasting your time.

– Carman Moore

FB Hiatus Day 11 PS

2011-09-23T09:39:00.002-04:00

The world "authentic" kinda sucks too. 'Cause the minute you think about being authentically you, you're not being authentic. You're being what you want to believe is authentically you.

So, I'm boycotting that word and concept. But to be fair, I'm pretty sure FaceBook didn't ruin the A word. Just the G and the B ones.

FB HIatus Day 11

2011-09-23T09:16:00.002-04:00

What's all the scuttlebutt? While watching the Grey's Anatomy season premiere (oh, don't get all judgey on me), the nightly news preview suggested everyone in the entire universe was in an uproar over the new FB changes.

Exactly how big are they, kittens?

All I knows is the Book of Face has absolutely ruined the words "grateful" and "blessed" for me. A dear friend (whose glorious status updates are a blend of whacky intelligence, creativity and painful honesty...they're magic and I miss them) brought it up...like...the minute I thought about it. (It gave me hope that perhaps I am whackily intelligent, creative and painfully honest.)

Those words (the G and the B ones) are how people get away with being all prideful and braggy on The Book while assuming a humility that's just plain unattractive and false. It's reflexive.

And I'm pretty sure I've done it.

So, I'm boycotting those words.

I'll just say thank you. That's active. Not reflexive at all.

Unless I say, "Thank me."

Hmmmmm...

Falling in Love

2011-09-22T20:32:00.002-04:00

is no reason to act like a douchetard.

I'm just sayin'.

High school may be a reason. But not falling in love.

FB Hiatus Day 10

2011-09-22T02:01:00.002-04:00

From what I'm gleaning, I may have beat the FaceBook Exodus.

Come take my hand, God gave this LAN to me.

God gave this fruitful LAN to me.

One friend has started a daily offsite update. I call it EdBook.

Please feel free to join us here at TiZandAsSBooK.

FB Hiatus Day 9

2011-09-21T13:50:00.000-04:00

Bear in mind that you should conduct yourself in life as at a feast.

- Epicetus, Greek philosopher

FB Hiatus Day 8

2011-09-20T19:46:00.000-04:00

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Except for the monster chasing me

aaaaaaaaaaaah

(*&^%^&^()*(#@$

FYYSCFFWM

Andrea Bocelli* Owes Me $2.25

2011-09-20T11:36:00.008-04:00

He does. I couldn't walk across the park last week at 1 in the afternoon because "The World's Most Beloved Tenor" was scheduled to do a concert on the Great Lawn in 7 hours.

I didn't know he was The World's Most Beloved Tenor. I thought he was, "Who needs Three Tenors when you can have one Blind One." I used to say that...'til it pissed people off.

You still with me?

I didn't know he was going to be in town until I got a text from some guy I went on 1 date with 4 months ago. He wanted to know the name of the restaurant where we had our 1 date...4 months ago.

You still with me?

But it was 1 in the afternoon, it was raining, I was late for a callback, the NYC cops didn't even know where I could cross, and I was cross.

So from under the safety of the brim of my cap and brimming hatred for all things Bocelli, I sweetly asked a rather tall couple, "Excuse me. Do you know if I can walk across at 86th Street?"

She replies in a sweet English accent, "I don't know."

He replies in the most delicious of familiar burrs. "Oh, I don't think so. There's a concert here tonight."

And...

It's Liam Neeson.

Oh, you're still with me.

Liam Neeson. The last time I saw him in the flesh I had run smack into his chest at 890 Broadway. I said, "I'm sorry," looked up, saw who it was and murmured, "No, I'm not."

Yum.

I wonder if he'll be my FaceBook friend?

No, TiZ, no. No FaceBook.

But I can still dream of him waking up, cranking up his computer and wondering, "Oh, I wonder what my dear friend TiZ is doing out and about this great Island of Manhattan? Oh, look at her. Isn't she adorable? Oh, look, she's drinking a TaB. Oh, isn't she a clever girl, but why so much self-hatred?"

But that won't happen because I'm on FaceBook Hiatus.

But until then...

Dear Mr. Neeson, I am writing this to you,

And I hope that you will read it so you'll know

My heart beats like a hammer and I stutter and I stammer

Every time I see you at the picture show (Except for SUSPECT 'cause you looked icky, and LOVE ACTUALLY cause I actually hated that movie.)

I guess I'm just another fan of yours

And I thought I'd write and tell you so-o-o-oH.

You made me love you (Made?)
I didn't wanna do it, (Well...) I didn't wanna do it. (Of course, I did. Who doesn't?)
You made me love you (Made?)
and all the while you knew it, I guess you always knew it. (Okay...probably not.)

You made me happy, sometimes you made me glad.
But there were times, dear, you made me feel so sad. (Like when you did SHINING THROUGH with Melanie Griffith as a woman of Irish, Jewish-German parentage going undercover in Nazi Germany. Really? Why?)

You made me cry for (Why?)
I didn't wanna tell you. I didn't wanna tell you.
I want a love that's true ('Cause that's what FaceBook is all about-truth.)
Yes, I do, 'deed I do
You know I do

Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie, gimmie what I cry for (Demanding, aren't I?)
You know you've got the brand of kisses
That I'd die for
You know you made me love you

(This is getting uncomfortable.)

Aw, gee, Mr. Neeson, I don't wanna bother you! Guess you got a lotta girls that tell you the same thing. And if you don't wanna read this, well, you don't have to. But I just had to tell you about the time I saw you in SCHINDLER'S LIST. That was the tenth time I ever saw you, and I knew right then you were the nicest fella in the movies! I guess it was 'cause you acted so, well so natural like - not like a real actor at all, but just like any fella you'd meet at school or at a party...or a Nazi munitions factory. Then one time I saw you in a picture with Jessica Lange, and I had to cry a little 'cause you loved her and your kilt so much and you couldn't have them - not 'till the end of the picture, anyway. And then one time I saw you in person. You were going to rehearsal at 890, and I was standing there when you got out of your cab, and you almost knocked me down! Oh - but it wasn't your fault! Naw, I was in the way. But you looked at me, and you smiled. Yeah! You smiled right at me as if you meant it, and I cried all the way home just 'cause you smiled at me for being in your way! Aw, I'll never forget it, Mr. Neeson. Honest injun. You're my favorite actor!

I don't care what happens, let the whole world stop
As far as I'm concerned, you'll always be the top
'Cause you know you made me love you

And...

scene.

*This blog post wasn't about Andrea Bocelli at all, was it? But I had to take the bus. And that cost $2.25.

FB Hiatus Day 7

2011-09-19T21:54:00.002-04:00

This is not easy for me. Not easy for me at all. The Book of Face is where I go to disappear. The Book is my discovery zone. The Book is where I play to have my say. The Book is actually where I started to get my news.

This is not easy peasy lemon squeezy.

This is difficult difficult lemon difficult.

The Book is life.*

*Not really. I just love the "the list is life" line from ye olde Schindler's List. Know what I mean?

FB Hiatus Day 6

2011-09-18T17:49:00.002-04:00

I thank the cake for its chocolatey goodness by cramming it by the fistful into my gaping pie hole.

FB Hiatus Day 5

2011-09-17T23:58:00.001-04:00

Discussed ideas, not people.

Soul Streaking

2011-09-17T12:21:00.007-04:00

A friend I've known since he was a wee slip of a thing (well, I know TiZ and AsS is a name-free zone, but let's just call him Mike Errico for short) is having some pretty exquisite successes. All more than well-deserved...he is the prophet angel of the indie pop scene after all. Before I left on my Book of Face sabbatical I had posted and "shared" a bit about him. I was a special guest performer his first evening of residency at the Living Room...an unexpected vocal treat for the likes of moi. He had more evenings of residency, more special guests, always trading up...I posted those. His album went through the roof on iTunes...I posted that.

I don't know if I posted about him being featured on the Naked Soul Series at the Rubin Museum of Art...it had been in the air for a while and I just may not have "shared." It's an all acoustic music series and the only other person I'd ever had the pleasure to hear soul strip was another fav, Jonatha Brooke. (I don't know her personally so I'm not feeling so bad about the reveal of that name. My blog, my rules.)

But when Mike and his lovely wife both post a link to a cartoon on page 20 of The New Yorker about the gig and his special guest, Jonatha Brooke, I smacked "share" faster than a sexaholic smacks my ass.

The New Yorker.

Today, I head over to The New Yorker website (just because I'm not on the Book of Face doesn't mean I'm still not taking up residency on the Net of Inter), look at the cartoon, hit [control] F and search for Errico. Up comes the cartoon again. Up comes the gig--GREAT. Up comes...

The fact that he and two other friends had "shared" another article on The Book. I look closer...

The fact that two other friends and I had "shared" this article.

That another friend...

And another friend...

Up comes my breakfast.

Not really.

But you see where I'm going. I can't quite escape The Book. It's a tad insidious. You don't even have to be on it to be on it.

That being said, let's spin it happy. Get on it...buy a ticket to Mike's concert. Rumor has it if you order before the 21st, you get a free cd...you get to take Mike home.

And we all get to see one another in the flesh.

Naked Soul and all.

Streaking.

FB Hiatus Day 4

2011-09-16T20:20:00.001-04:00

I see beautiful people everywhere. Day 3 too.

Thank you.

Clarification

2011-09-16T09:02:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was a good day. Yesterday was a great day. It was not an easy FB day, however, because I KNOW someone tagged a photo of me. I KNOW who it is and it's always deliciously random and skewed yet perfect and ugly...

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!

It could be about TaB.

And someone else has mentioned me in some kind of post. She's a student and we have a similar name and a similar outlook on life...

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT SAYS!

It could be about TaB.

But I know it's not showing up on my wall because I fixed that before I left. Locked the door. Triple locked it. But there always is the doggy door...

I really don't want to return to find random shit strewn all about the place...Farmville, bedazzled crap, Jimmy Hoffa, puppies...

Please tell me I locked the door.

FB Hiatus Day 3

2011-09-15T22:11:00.001-04:00

Not easy not easy not easy

Blerg.

This Morning of Miss

2011-09-15T08:40:00.005-04:00

This morning I miss being on FaceBook. I'm bound to miss ANYTHING I set my mind NOT to do.

Ain't human nature fun? Or at least Tizzy nature?

I miss seeing shining faces. I miss seeing what you're doing. I miss birthdays. I miss quotes. I miss being in the know.

There are specificities of the specific sort I miss which I'm bound to get to later.

However, I know

when I'm ON the Book of Face I'm not kissing your face. I'm not tripping the line fantastic with you. I'm not holding your cake as you blow out your candles. I'm not hearing your voice murmur or scream a quote or joke of the day.

And sometimes a girl can know too much.

This is gonna be a good day.

FaceBook Fascination

2011-09-14T14:35:00.004-04:00

I am fascinated to see who transcends FaceBook in the Land of TiZ. I mean, it's a two-way street, the center line is not clearly defined, the road markings are strange...but there are some fellow travelers I just can't do without...and hopefully vicey versa.

Until either of us feel the need, I'm so hoping you're* tripping the line fantastic.

*I initially typed "your." Hello, Monster.

FB Hiatus Day 2

2011-09-14T07:30:00.004-04:00

Have lost 4 pounds. Can return to much beloved skirt of the past.

T&A- Hello, much beloved skirt.

MBS- Oh, look at you. Now I won't have to deal with your ample bum ripping through my seams like Hannibal through the Alps.

T&A- You're welcome. (Muttered) No need to be rude.*

*Unless there is a monster chasing you.

FB Hiatus Day 1

2011-09-13T23:08:00.001-04:00

Things that happened today because I wasn't on the Book of Face...

Well, first of all, I wasn't on the Book of Face.

I ate without looking at my computer.

I drank TaB without looking at my computer.

Because I wasn't looking at my computer, I drank something other than TaB...it was healthy.

I spoke with people in person.

I spoke with people in person ON THE PHONE.

I REALLY worked on a script.

I took a nap.

And...

a monster chased me.

aaaaaaaaaaaah

(*&^%^&^()*(#@$

FYYSCFFWM

T plus 2 hours and 14 minutes

2011-09-13T10:49:00.001-04:00

There is quite obviously...

a monster chasing me

aaaaaaaaaaaah

(*&^%^&^()*(#@$

FYYSCFFWM

T plus 1 minute

2011-09-13T08:35:00.001-04:00

I feel good.

T minus 1

2011-09-12T08:51:00.005-04:00

Fixing to get ready to go: Two posts regarding my departure. A culling of numbers. Individual messages to a couple of people who for a number of reasons warrant them. Despite the reasoning being different, the letters are pretty darn similar. Despite the democratic approach...

10 home runs.

2 balls

1 ball thrown directly at my head. Luckily I wear a helmet. But ow.

Now, despite the fact I am skipping FaceTown for a while, it doesn't mean I won't be writing about it. This is a huge experiment for me. And from what I'm gleaning, it's gonna be hard. It may drive me back into therapy after a decade. Is my therapist still alive?

I have my Hurricane FaceBook Go Bag packed and at the door.

And plenty of TaB.

Who knows what waits beyond the walls of...oh shit...it's a monster...he's chasing me...aaaaaaaaaaaah

(*&^%^&^()*(#@$

FYYSCFFWM

T minus last week plus one day and 1 minute

2011-09-12T08:50:00.001-04:00

Accept friend request and realize need Facebook hiatus.

T minus last week plus one day

2011-09-12T08:45:00.003-04:00

Receive a friend request from Joe Kennedy's 1929 shoeshine boy.

T minus last week

2011-09-12T08:41:00.002-04:00

Run into an old friend whom I haven't seen for a variety of reasons that are none of your business. The comments regarding FaceBook and my activities thereon dismaze* me.

*Dismaze- (verb) to disturb and amaze in equalling proportions.

T minus ?

2011-09-12T08:40:00.001-04:00

Contemplate taking a Book of Face hiatus.

T minus late summer

2011-09-12T08:38:00.002-04:00

Spend too much time noodling around on FaceBook, mostly because I'm out of town, but continuing when I return.

Kayak Yaketty Yak

2011-09-11T20:19:00.003-04:00

El Guapo and I embarqued on The Annual Hammonasset Kayak Extravaganza today.

It was splendid.

El Guapo was ceremoniously dumped from his kayak.

EG "Goddammit."

T&A "Hey, whatcha doin' in there?"

I grabbed his paddle. He righted his kayak. He float downstream beside it for 15 yards. For the next 15, he piggybacked my kayak as I paddled him safely to shore.*

He dumped the water, climbed back in, had a smoke and paddled along.

And we larfed.

The Best Annual Hammonasset Kayak Extravaganza EVER!

Just in case you think I'm a heartless fuck - I know the date. I don't wish to be near media. I know what this means to me. I don't need the media to give me visual reminders or tell me how I should feel about it. Plus, if there are commercials involved and someone is making money, fuck you.

*Always wear your life jacket. Thank you.

opposition

2011-09-11T00:03:00.001-04:00

Without opposition there is no growth. It is hard to argue with that logic. A state in which we are free from problems or constraints is not happiness. Happiness is transcending all opposition and obstacles and continuing to grow.

Daisaku Ikeda, Buddhist Scholar (Thank you, ND)

What I Wish For You

2011-09-08T21:35:00.004-04:00

I wish you had been in Central Park with me at 7:30 this evening.

You didn't even have to be with me. Just there. On the north side of the Great Lawn looking south.

One of those exquisite, gasping reminders of why I've lived in New York for 25 years...

Gawdy, joyous skyscrapers doing what they do best--scraping the sky.

Low lying clouds with sunset illumination in co-dependent palates.

Hullabaloo* lights dancing in those co-dependent clouds.

Heaven in the park.

Wish you'd been there.

*They are, in fact, called ballyhoo. But hullabaloo is better, n'est pas?

I Suck

2011-09-03T09:41:00.003-04:00

For a number of reasons.

But I will not count the ways. I will let you do that.

What I have to say in my defense is that I've been a little ill at ease since being published in far more reputable zines, and by being published outing myself. A certain anonymity is gone. And a certain anonymity is freeing.

I'm sure I'll come up with something for you all. If you all still exist. But I doubt it will be this weekend. This weekend I'm naked for 40 hours straight and easy breezy lemon squeezy.

Free.

See you on the flipside.

I Wonder Why

2011-08-15T11:54:00.003-04:00

I am knocked out. Honestly, on my ass. Spent the last couple of days feeling stoned and let me tell you...I ain't stoned.

And then I looked at my work schedule of the last couple of weeks...

Week 1 (which included being thrown on in a show I'd never seen with 5 hours of rehearsal) = 55 hours.

Week 2 = 60 hours.

Week 3 = 55 hours.

Week 4 (wherein there was no day off and we saw Ye Olde Pass Out and Break Face on Bureau Trick. And lest we forget, my period.) = 60 hours.

Don't blame my union. When I arrived in Pittsfield I accepted a freelance job thinking I had oodles of time. Then I double contracted up here. Couldn't pull out of the freelance gig at that point. And Equity has no rules about double contract meal breaks, hours of rest, etc. The powers that be did the best they could with what little me they had.

And I worked out five days out of eight.

I laugh because this was supposed to be my work vacation. Small role, big mountains, huge spirit.

But today I lie in bed, corset-free, listen to the rain, read "Atonement" and drink Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper.

What? No TaB?

I seem to have imbibed all the TaB in the Berkshires. There is no more.

Why does Jesus hate me? Can't he pull a little surreptitious transmogrification for Ye Olde Tizmeister? Just this once?

Slurp.

Faintsville

2011-08-08T09:55:00.008-04:00

I passed out at 6 am this morning. This is not a common occurrence for me. Basically, once a decade. So I should be good-to-go until 2020 or so.

Hoo-weeeee!

What caused it? Probably the G.I. distress that ripped 4 pounds off me in less than a minute…quite exciting. What caused the G.I. distress? Could have been the corset I’m sporting for the skit. Could have been a wee pesky ovarian cyst bursting. Or a delightful cocktail of the two.

My 1990s fainting spell coincided with Poppy being given his first stress test. That one and only stress test ended with him in the operating room getting a triple by-pass. When I say coincided I mean I was in Germany while he was in Connecticut. Exact same time. Not that six pm RAPTURE time crap, but proper six-hour-difference-time-zone-time. I think we may have been connected.

Perhaps this morning Poppy was slapping me upside the head wicked hard. I wonder what I’ve done to offend?

And what is the Heaven-Pittsfield time zone difference?

As I lay on the floor for an hour after my face slammed into the bureau in an unceremonious fashion, I bemoaned my fate, “If I was married, there would be someone to pick me up of the floor. If I was married, maybe the poor sod would have even helped me off the can so I never would have passed out at all!”

I went through a similar self-pitying monologue about a decade ago when I choked on a piece of chicken. That was the fainting spell of the aughts...after self-heimliching on the third-floor banister of my building. (I got cheers from the ER attendants, “How wise of you not to die!”)

Ten years ago, I was in desperate need of Henry Heimlich Husband at 4:30 in the afternoon. No husband of mine would have been home at that hour anyway. And this morning? Well, right now I’m cohabitating with six other people. SIX! Not a one heard the mighty oak topple. If I was married, Freddy Faint Fiance wouldn’t have heard it either.

So, I sit in bed. A little creaky. A fat lip. A gash in my nose. Icing all with frosty cans of TaB.

I'm pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be this way, but it is and I’m not going to involve myself in THAT monologue. I’d rather drink the beloved TaB, meditate and watch a wee bit of Izzard.

Truth

2011-08-02T09:42:00.001-04:00

Not everyone can see the truth, but everyone can BE the truth. - Franz Kafka